Fill the Gaps - Security Breach

I'm probably one of the most insecure people I know, which is ironic because I work with Jr. High girls. I'm just going to be honest and say I think they are more secure in who they are than I am half the time. Maybe that's why I identify with that group of people best...? Insecurity means a lack of confidence. Uncertainty about oneself. Questioning of your worth and place in this world. But security is not found in anything that can change.

We try to find security in relationships. Singles scramble to keep any prospect in their lives just so they feel secure in marriage. Not a good place to find security.

We try to find security in careers. Feeling a sense of accomplishment and worth in a place that we know won't always be there. Not a good place to find security.

We try to find security in power, beauty, money, people, things...all horrible things to find security in.

Find a security in the One Who says He will never leave you or forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6) That will never change, no matter how much you do. When we find security in Christ, nothing else will matter in 100 years. If you truly put your trust in Him and your life in His hands, you have nothing to worry about.

Ruth didn't try to squeeze God into her plans, but she followed the urging from God to go with her mother in law, to a place where no way ever would she find a future, just because of her origin. Ruth simply went about every day life, working to provide for Naomi and herself and God saw her heart and provided not only a living, but a man who honored Him and found favor in Ruth because of her lovely character and diligence. Ruth didn't show insecurity, she showed faithfulness and trust in a God she was just meeting. It is incredible to see how faithfulness wipes away insecurity.

I love the words to Lauren Daigle's song, You Say. It speaks volumes of how we should view security in Christ alone. If you haven't heard it, check it out here!
But the premise of the song is that we fight voices that say we're not enough, we are not loved, we are not worthy, but God says just the opposite of those things, and we should believe that what He says is true.

Insecurity will not only destroy you, it will destroy your relationships. Insecurity will place standards on people around you, mostly on your spouse or significant other, that they can't fill. Only God can fill them. The problem here is that you are trying to find security in humans, not God. The same goes for church. Church is a funny line because it is God's, but it is ran by imperfect humans. Many, many, many times people storm out, throw fits, or rant about how awful a church is because it didn't give them what they needed when they needed it. Again, where is the security here?

Insecurity in your career will leave you on mountaintops that will quickly tumble down into valleys, leaving you wondering why you're not happy. They you'll be scrambling back up the mountaintop again only to find yourself exhausted after each run, and depressed when you tumble back down.

Remember what God thinks of you and ask Him to reveal to you repeatedly the truth He has for you and about you. Insecurity creeps up from every direction - social media is a biggie, but God's Word is filled with love for you. See the things of this world, the circumstances of this life, and the accomplishments of your abilities as vapors that will be gone in the blink of an eye. See God's security as the eternal, secure picture that you should cling to hardest.

Scripture to Read:
Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:8

Questions to Ponder:
How does knowing that God is the same always encourage you?
What sorts of things are you putting security in that are leaving you frustrated and depressed?
How can you take steps today to remind yourself of what God thinks of you, so you can get out of the cycle of temporary securities?

Fill the Gap - Have a Little Faith

The chaos in the hallway with hustling and bustling scrubs and intercom attention flowed through the door as it was left partially ajar from the 5am nurse visit. Another day on the seventh floor of the heart wing had become another day away from my baby girl, and the snuggles we were supposed to be sharing at home. I hit lows a lot as I was trapped on that 7th floor, with nothing but a hallway to walk around and a window to gawk out, as a long, brutal winter became a much anticipated spring. Moving around was still a monitored process as I had just escaped the ICU and the feelings of residual chest tube wounds, along with sawed sternum rang loudly as I would even shift the smallest amount. Holding my baby was a challenge the small amounts of time she was brought from Ludington, 2 hours away, and I felt as if I was missing her entire 1st month of life. I felt jipped. I felt enormous amounts of "why"? I felt as if the precious moments of the one shot I had at motherhood  was slipping out of my fingers, and nothing I could do would make it come back. But I had to learn to have faith in those moments, and that is precisely one of the things God was teaching me.

I think controlling our own fate is something we all do as humans in one way or another. We find life not to be fair, yet we don't see the path ahead, or the bigger picture of what God is trying to prepare us for, prevent us from, and teach us in those awful, frustrating times in life. If I had it my way in that time, I would have made mothering a newborn as a more positive experience. It wouldn't have involved colic, the open-chest surgery, and the not even able to pick up my baby for 8 weeks after my surgery. But God's plan was different. And as I reflect back, I still don't always see the bigger picture or reasons, but I know I'm a different person today because of that season.

We read that Ruth "happened to" be gleaning in the field that belonged to Boaz. And not only this, but she happened to be there when Boaz was there, which was probably not often as Boaz was a rich man, who probably owned many fields and had many workers. Luck? Coincidence? Absolutely not. Ruth's faith and promptings from God had led her to Bethlehem, a place where as a Moabite, she would probably face much ridicule and no future, and by God's prompting, she gleaned the fields of the man she would one day marry. Ruth's newly acquired faith in the One true God got her off the couch, out of the house, out of her state of moping, and into the field where her future would begin once more. 

Proverbs 16:9 tells us this was God's hand, as it reads, "In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." And in Ruth's case, we find out that she indeed becomes the lineage of Jesus - a far grander plan that finding a husband and future in another land with hopeless outlook for her origin. 

God took care of Ruth and Naomi is so many ways. In fact, Ruth gleaning the fields tells us that her and Naomi were probably desperate for some food, and Ruth, taking care of her mother in law went out to do what she had to do in taking a risk. Eventually, becoming favored in Boaz's eyes would not only take care of Ruth and Naomi in his wealth as family, but it would take care of us all in leading to the birth of our Savior down the family line one day. God's plan is perfect, and in the midst of the hopeless circumstances of life, He has so much more beyond those frustrating moments that you can't even comprehend.

Nothing could have prepared me for that circumstance, yet looking back I realize more and more God had been preparing me all along, and even in that moment, He was preparing me for more of life's curve balls to come. 21 days in the hospital, and months of recovery at home were actually some of the best ways God could have taught me to look up and know His plan is more powerful. I can't even tell you how close I felt to God in that "rock bottom" moment, and I often long for that type closeness again, as I strive to figure it all out. I remember that having faith in the impossible moments create possibilities. May we all strive to see this when rock bottoms come. 

Scripture to Read:

Ruth 2:1-9, Matthew 1:1-17

Questions to Ponder:

Have you ever felt at the "rock bottom" of life? Why?

How did God show you a grander plan, if He has revealed it to you yet? If not, ask yourself how could "rock bottom" be a grander plan?

How do we have faith to move along despite our circumstances? What can you remember from Ruth's story to help you?

Seek Solitude & Find Comfort

I have a lot of health issues that require tons of doctor appointments. It gets very overwhelming and draining at times to keep it all straight, to douse the worries of everyone around me, and to still feel like keeping up with "regular health" stuff, like going to the dentist, and physicals. Not to mention getting my daughter to them. The calendar is filled with appointments and follow up tests at any given time, and I admit, some days I want to just throw it all in and be done.

As an introvert, I long to be alone a lot as well. I need at least once a week where I have the house to myself for a few hours where I can either veg, clean, ninja attack the toy room without a rejecting 4 year old, binge watch Netflix, or just sleep, depending on how ridiculous the week has been. When I have a week of absolute crazy, and thing after thing, and life is just overwhelming, I find great comfort in that solitude.

When Elijah sat under a broom tree because he was overwhelmed by life, despite the miracle he had just witnessed on Mount Caramel in facing the prophets of the false god, Baal, and learning Jezebel was after him, he was just done with life. He begged God to take his life, in fact, and he fell asleep. Even though it was after a great miracle, that took great faith, in which Elijah had, life was still so overwhelming.


I feel that I am an Elijah. I have walked through life, surrounded by great miracles, yet I fall beneath the broom tree and wish it would all just stop being overwhelming. But then we read that the Lord sent an angel to comfort Elijah, and give him what he needed to keep going. And that is exactly what God does for me again, and again, and again, and again...and will continue doing until He's done with me here on Earth. 

I get overwhelmed a lot. If you know me, you know this is an understatement. But I feel burned when people think I'm shallow in faith, or unintelligent, or when they simply don't care about or see what I actually have to offer. I get incredibly hurt when I feel used, or taken advantage of. The result- unsureness. Overwhelming questioning, of my worth, of my faith, of my purpose in this world. 
However, each and every time, God shows up and gives me what I need to continue this hard and unknown journey. He gives me people to affirm me, His Word to guide me, and little things I notice when driving on a low day that comfort me. 

So for those comforts and affirmations from Him, I am so grateful. I need them as I find myself questioning who I am and whether or not I'm really up on my faith, my "biblical foundation and intelligence" Truth is people, none of us will be until we are Home. Truth is, I am who HE says I am. And that is all the comfort I need to keep going, another day, another night.

Maybe you're experiencing an overwhelming life lately. Maybe you feel questioned, slandered, or like the hardships just won't end. Take comfort from Elijah's story - his very true and very real God story. Sometimes you need to seek solitude to just stop life for a second and take stock. Just like God found Elijah in that overwhelming moment of life where he just wanted to stop, and wanted his life to stop, God sent resources. He knew what Elijah needed and He most definitely knows what you need today and for this day on. Find comfort in your moments of solitude to just remember how God moves. He has greater plans for you yet! 


Scripture to Read:
1 Kings 19:1-18, Matthew 7:7-8

Questions to Ponder:
When have you felt overwhelmed by life? What did you do?
Have you ever felt filled up by God in hard times? What was it like?
What do you do to find solitude?