Fill the Gaps - Security Breach

I'm probably one of the most insecure people I know, which is ironic because I work with Jr. High girls. I'm just going to be honest and say I think they are more secure in who they are than I am half the time. Maybe that's why I identify with that group of people best...? Insecurity means a lack of confidence. Uncertainty about oneself. Questioning of your worth and place in this world. But security is not found in anything that can change.

We try to find security in relationships. Singles scramble to keep any prospect in their lives just so they feel secure in marriage. Not a good place to find security.

We try to find security in careers. Feeling a sense of accomplishment and worth in a place that we know won't always be there. Not a good place to find security.

We try to find security in power, beauty, money, people, things...all horrible things to find security in.

Find a security in the One Who says He will never leave you or forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6) That will never change, no matter how much you do. When we find security in Christ, nothing else will matter in 100 years. If you truly put your trust in Him and your life in His hands, you have nothing to worry about.

Ruth didn't try to squeeze God into her plans, but she followed the urging from God to go with her mother in law, to a place where no way ever would she find a future, just because of her origin. Ruth simply went about every day life, working to provide for Naomi and herself and God saw her heart and provided not only a living, but a man who honored Him and found favor in Ruth because of her lovely character and diligence. Ruth didn't show insecurity, she showed faithfulness and trust in a God she was just meeting. It is incredible to see how faithfulness wipes away insecurity.

I love the words to Lauren Daigle's song, You Say. It speaks volumes of how we should view security in Christ alone. If you haven't heard it, check it out here!
But the premise of the song is that we fight voices that say we're not enough, we are not loved, we are not worthy, but God says just the opposite of those things, and we should believe that what He says is true.

Insecurity will not only destroy you, it will destroy your relationships. Insecurity will place standards on people around you, mostly on your spouse or significant other, that they can't fill. Only God can fill them. The problem here is that you are trying to find security in humans, not God. The same goes for church. Church is a funny line because it is God's, but it is ran by imperfect humans. Many, many, many times people storm out, throw fits, or rant about how awful a church is because it didn't give them what they needed when they needed it. Again, where is the security here?

Insecurity in your career will leave you on mountaintops that will quickly tumble down into valleys, leaving you wondering why you're not happy. They you'll be scrambling back up the mountaintop again only to find yourself exhausted after each run, and depressed when you tumble back down.

Remember what God thinks of you and ask Him to reveal to you repeatedly the truth He has for you and about you. Insecurity creeps up from every direction - social media is a biggie, but God's Word is filled with love for you. See the things of this world, the circumstances of this life, and the accomplishments of your abilities as vapors that will be gone in the blink of an eye. See God's security as the eternal, secure picture that you should cling to hardest.

Scripture to Read:
Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:8

Questions to Ponder:
How does knowing that God is the same always encourage you?
What sorts of things are you putting security in that are leaving you frustrated and depressed?
How can you take steps today to remind yourself of what God thinks of you, so you can get out of the cycle of temporary securities?

Fill the Gap - Character Challenge

I love caller ID. Seriously, you can't even believe how much I love it. As an introverted, insecure, unsure, plan ahead for any possible scenario, fearful person, answering the phone is something I hate doing. It's a BIG part of my job, so I do it and I find out it wasn't so bad each time, but since I got caller ID, I no longer have to deal with telemarketers. (Except those ones that trick you by calling from a local number when they're really in Tahiti...but another frustration for another day.) The thing is, I can take the easy way out with caller ID with telemarketers. I don't have to worry about them recording my voice when it accidentally says "yes" or something along those lines, and have them use it against me when the "yes" had absolutely nothing to do with the thing they were selling anyways. It's cruel, I know...so I love letting my voicemail answer them.

Taking the easy way out is usually an option. Sometimes, we're forced into corners where this really is no easy way, and I truly believe those are the moments the rubber meets the road in terms of faith. But I also believe when we see something through and do it the right way, we refine and reveal our character greatly.  Another thing I worry about a lot is how I look to people. I have always lived to please man, which is an unhealthy place to be. By pleasing people, I'm too busy trying to stay out of conflict to realize I'm not honoring God, the One I should be pleasing.

When we are in the midst of rock bottom, of singleness, of unknowns, we tend to either keep fighting or give up. We embrace hope, bitterness or both. Ruth, having hope, went out to provide for her mother in law in the fields. Naomi flat out told her old friends that she was bitter. Ironically, Ruth's fighting to find hope is what attracted Boaz to her. (Ruth 2:8-12) "I have heard all the things you have done for your mother in law." Boaz's words to Ruth's question, "why have I found favor with you?"

Character is gained when we fight through the struggle. Character is gained when we can humbly take a knee and allow God to carry us through. Character is gained when we allow the irritating grains of life to turn us into perfect pearls. As I review James 1:2-4, we remember that this is how faith is gained. "because the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

If we really dig into this passage, we see that trials, hardships, unknowns are what give us character. They give us faith. They give us perseverance. They make us mature. With these things, we can take on the next trial, and the next trial, and the next, knowing we can grow even more.

Before you try to fill the gap in your heart with trying to impress people when what you have, with your words, with your body, fill the gap of your heart with Jesus. Nothing screams character more than a person who has an all out pursuit of faith in Him. It may not make you a popular person in this world, it may not win you awards, or even pay the bills, but it will matter as you lead a legacy in your family. Change the hardship story to a story of hope. Cling to Him and build something that may require a risk, or time, or patience. In Him, find peace, find worth, find something greater than your circumstance, and allow Him to build a character in you that can inspire others to find character in Him one day. 

Scripture to Read:
Ruth 2:8-12, Galatians 1:10, James 1:2-4

Questions to Ponder:

What does character mean to you?
How do you build character, especially in Christ?
Hoe does trying to please man over pleasing God hinder a building of character? 

Agape Love - Set Aside the Pride

I hate asking for help, but then get frustrated when no one helps me accomplish something that should be a team effort. I hate asking for help because I feel like every piece of me is weak and it shows hard. Asking for help would be the next level of weakness, and I feel this way because of a dangerous thing called pride. I'm too prideful to say I need an extra buck to get somewhere, or that I need help moving something, or even that I need a prayer. Pride not only deprives me the opportunity to practice humility, but it deprives someone else the opportunity to bless and offer a helping hand.
The time I went through open chest surgery after my daughter was born was humbling for me, yet so frustrating, because of pride. I hated having to be with someone every minute when I came home from the hospital. I hated that I didn't have energy to cook or clean (let's be honest, I still don't!!), and I hated not being able to care for my new daughter without people "checking in". It was a pride issue.
On the flip side, there is a pride from those who think they deserve things to be handed to them. Rather than wanting to lend a hand, they hold their hand out looking for someone to place a "blessing" in it, over, and over, and over, so much so that they don't know how to fend for themselves in life, and pride essentially destroys them.

I have always believed that humility is the most powerful position you can take. It seems like an oxymoron, but there is a deeper understanding when you can take a knee in humility when dealing with people. Pride is the opposite of this position. There is a place of vulnerability that can either be crushed by a person's pride, or affirmed by a person's humility.
Love is humble, not prideful.
Pride has no time of day for anything by oneself. Love gives time freely.
Pride can't see past self. Love sees every opportunity to lend anything they can offer.
Pride is a root of selfishness. Love is selfless.
Pride hardens. Love softens.

There are verses and verses throughout God's word that would tell you how dangerous pride is, and in this case, pride is not an intentional way to pursue agape. It destroys agape because it encompasses every piece of it and makes it negative.
Pride is not patient. Pride is not kind. Pride boasts. Pride is envious...it fits. Pride seems to be the root of the problem in many cases, yet humility and love seem to be the solution.

So how do we strive for humility and try to wipe off pride?

Believe you don't have to be the most intelligent, strongest, and better to do what you are called to do. I think we fall into the pride trap when we believe we are the best, which is never true. The truth is someone else is always better, stronger, and more intelligent. Know that God is the most at everything. He created you with your gifts and He knows you better than you know yourself.

"You turn things upside down, as if the potter were thought to be like the clay! Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, "you did not make me?" Can the pot say to the potter, "you know nothing?" - Isaiah 29:16

Conquer pride by remembering Who made you and where your role is in that.

Secondly, keep yourself in check. When you start thinking you are indispensable, or better than someone else, or that your accomplishments entitle you, stop. Remember that the ultimate judge is God. Nothing in this world matters beyond eternity.

"For by grace given me I say to every one of you: Do you think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgement, in accordance with the faith Go has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us..." -Romans 12:3-6a

Conquer pride by remembering that God gave each of us unique gifts and that we are all serving the same purpose as ONE. None of us is better than the other, but God is our greatest pursuit.

Admit your wrongs. When you mess up, confess it. Bring it before God and be sure to say "sorry" to the people you wronged. Saying sorry is probably the most humbling thing you can do in a hot-button, prideful world. I have come to learn that people who won't say "sorry" are the ones who will ditch you under the bus just to keep themselves looking good. Don't be that person. Life's too short to carry around our wrongs, even if you don't think you're wrong. Consider the "what if I am wrong?"

Pride is something that starts very small, but then grows and grows until it's all about you. It may start with an achievement, a reward, but eventually turn into every conversation turning back to your achievements, your qualifications, your experiences, to the point of never wanting to admit you need help. Or that you are wrong. Or that your achievements aren't yours. Keep pride in check and stay humble.

Scripture to Read:
Romans 12:3-6a, Isaiah 29:16

Questions to Ponder:
Where do you struggle in the area of pride?
Which one of the steps can you work on this week to conquer the pride that threatens to come forth from you?
What is something God has done in your life that is truly amazing?

Agape Love - Deflate the Boastful Balloon

I have always felt that I wasn't intelligent enough, strong enough, adequate enough, whatever enough...Because of that place of insecurity and fear of what people think, I make up for it in sharing about myself a lot in certain contexts. Then I walk away from the conversation where I talked about myself and I feel dumb, and just say to myself "why can't you just keep your mouth shut, and your ears open, woman." Boasting is something I believe many struggle with, because our humanness makes us think about ourselves first. We try to sound like we either measure up or are on the top, and because of that place of insecurity and talking about ourselves, we fail to show love to the person who is trying to share with us. 

The word "boast" means to "puff oneself up in speech". IE: Talking about yourself to make yourself look good. However, we are told that this is not love. Love...It does not boast. (1 Corinthians 13:4) If you really get to the root of it, and think about boasting, you can see that when you boast about yourself, it doesn't show love for another at all, yet when we boast about God and His work in our lives or in the world around us, we are now showing love because you are bragging about Him, not yourself, which is what Paul riddles throughout his writings to the church of Corinth.

2 Corinthians 12:1-10:
I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell. I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool,because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

When we spend our energy boasting about what we can do, have done, will do, we tend to miss opportunities. When we can boast about what God has done, can do, will do for us, we catch every opportunity.

So, how do we combat this state, and this desire of boasting and remember to give God credit in our lives? Remember some things:

Remember where you have come. No one has ever been perfect. No one has a clean past. So why do we boast that we have those things? Let's be humans to each other and admit our messes and shame because we all need a breath of the imperfect air. We all have something to be ashamed of, but we all have the option to be redeemed from our shame and THAT is something we can boast about. Remember to think about the days you were low and Who pulled you out. Nothing is done by our own means because it is done by God Himself. If that can't be admitted in your life, it's time to see it and consider this great Hope for your life. It's easier to cope with it. It's a more hopeful life now. And it's a sure thing for your eternity. Paul's past is messy, but he boasts in Christ alone. In weakness, we can boast because of where He has brought us.

Remember Who you live for. The One Who knows where you are going, more than you know. Who remembers where you've been and how He brought you through it. Who knows what you need more than you even know. Who considers your desires - Who GAVE you your desires, talents, gifts, skills, heart, circumstances...all for a reason. You can't boast in what He created. You can boast in how great He is for how He works.

Remember what you're here for. What is the purpose of talking about yourself if your marching orders are for expressing God's glory and furthering His Kingdom? We do all we can to follow Him and to replicate His image. Boasting in what Christ has done for us is a sure way to keep this in your mind as you walk the steps of this life, trying to work through those times of insecurity and weakness. If you're trying to promote someone for a position in something, do you talk about yourself and how wonderful you are, or do you do all you can to talk about how great they are?

Agape love does not boast. Always be looking for ways to promote others, especially God in your life and what He has done for you. You will find many more opportunities to be a light to someone because you are shining Christ's Light through what He has done for you. Love others by not puffing yourself up, but by building them up.

Scripture to Read:
Galatians 6:14, Philippians 2:3-4

Questions to Ponder:
How do we intentionally work on not being boastful?
What are some things you are insecure about that may cause you to boast?
In your own words, how does boasting about yourself contradict love? How does boasting in Christ encourage love?

Day 128: Unique Puzzle Pieces

Day 128
Judges 13-15; 1 Corinthians 12

There is no such thing as "ordinary" when you are working as a child of God. He calls each of us here on this earth for a reason and He uses us and the gifts He gives us to help carry out something intricate and incredible for Him. Today, we'll read the front end of Samson's story, as well as look at how we are to be used as a part of a greater picture.

The way that Samson came about is very similar to the way Isaac, John the Baptist and Jesus came about. Parents who couldn't have children. An angel appearing. Restrictions or requirements that set them apart. Samson was to be someone great to the history of the Israelites and he was a very unique and gifted individual.

Like any other person, however, Samson had his downfalls. He was a wild at heart sort of man who sought revenge in harsh ways, and was overcome by the spirit of the Lord on many occasions. And like any other person, he got tired, worn out, and depressed after coming off a high. Despite his downfalls and revenge tactics, God used him to rule over Israel for years. This proves that God gives us all different strengths and skills. He gifts us with passions and things that "make us tick". Samson was a unique piece of the puzzle that God used to carry out the rest of history for the Israelites. As a child of God, you are also a piece of the puzzle. Though what you do today may not come to fruition or make sense until after you are gone, it meant something if God commanded it. Don't make sense of the things God calls you to do, but do them, trusting that God will use it in the puzzle He is creating.

You are probably fairly familiar with the passage out of 1 Corinthians today. Just like Samson, you are blessed with a certain strength. God wants to use your passions, skills, gifts, and even your weaknesses to carry out His plan. We are all a part of one body of Christ, working together to carry out the mission set for us. How are you doing with your part of the team? How do you feel when someone else gets the praise for the work you helped with? Are you able to be a team player without letting your selfish ambitions get in the way?

Even though you may be good at some things, you are not good at others. You need others on the team to make it a well-rounded team. This way, you are able to face different situations more often. A team of 1 is not a team. But a team that works together as one is a great team. Work to see the gifts that others possess and bring them in on your team. Consider your weaknesses and who you can rely on to help you when you need a skill you don't have. Don't allow selfishness and pride to tear your team apart. You are working for the King and He deserves the best team working with Him.

We all have a unique skill set. God will use your strengths, gifts, skills, passions, and even your weaknesses on His team. Be sure to keep your heart in check as you work with others, so you don't fall into the temptation of selfishness or pride. Rather than always seeking the applause, allow others to have the credit. Most importantly, point that credit right back up to God, as it was Him Who gave you these gifts in the first place.

Day 125: Standing Up to Yourself

Day 125
Judges 6-8; 1 Corinthians 9

Whenever we go on a trip to the Dominican Republic for our missions outreach with a group, we always get the same questions from females: "Why can't I wear a tank top in the community?" "Why can't I wear a bikini?" Why do I have to wear a skirt to the church services?" Paul wrestles with the concept as why we "become all things to all people" in order to reach some for Christ. Today, we'll look at how Gideon found courage to carry out Christ's commands and Paul's words on why our own desires can actually become a distraction to those around you when trying to be a light for Christ.

Stand up to your desire to do it yourself. We once again see the Israelites have turned away from God, (I'm seeing a pattern here) and are once again crying out to Him. When they finally realize that they are in trouble once again because they have leaned on the side of their desires, rather than His, they do the right thing in crying out to God and God hears them. Are you too stubborn to cry out for help when you know you are in trouble? God is with you when you cry out to Him, and maybe this is against your selfish desire as well, but He wants to rescue you. You only need to seek Him.

Stand up to your desire to be the strongest. One thing I struggle with is always feeling weak. I am most definitely a Gideon, and feel looked down on because I am always the sick one, the weak one, the emotional one. It's a hard pill to swallow, but eventually you just come around and accept it, as Gideon had. Gideon had all sorts of excuses, but God had all sorts of power to match them. God uses the weak to move His mission. This is a common theme throughout the Bible, though it is not a common theme throughout the world. Be encouraged by Gideon's story and allow God to work mighty plans through you!

Stand up to your self-confidence. I think so many times we rely on how confident we are feeling in whether or not we are willing to stand up to a task. In reality, we need to be relying on God's confidence in us. God had Gideon do many things that were huge risks. Yet, Gideon did them and as a result, Israel able to see God's hand once again. Never rely on your own understanding, but on what God's understanding is of you  We read how Gideon did not stay confident in the Lord, even after his victories that were brought only by the Lord. He fell into the snare of reward and got too confident in himself, separating from God and making poor choices at the end of his life.

Stand up to what you think you deserve. Paul's words here are really gold here for a Christian that wants ultimate impact for Christ. Paul has a list of things that are "perks" in this world or as one who shares the gospel message, like marriage and financial support for sharing the gospel. Yet Paul says that though these things are not wrong as a Christian, he doesn't want them to hinder God's work through him. He sees his call to singleness as a way of taking advantage of the opportunities to move more for Christ. He doesn't suggest marriage is wrong, as other apostles were married, but that he was perfectly fine as a single man, working for Christ, because Christ is his first obligation, as He should be for married folks as well. Paul took a second job so the gospel could be shared for free to all. He wanted to stay above reproach and be an example of Christ without hindering others to seeing Him. Rather than wasting time worrying about a spouse or a living from God's work, he did what it took to stomp out worldly desires for God's desires.  "We would rather put up with anything than be an obstacle to the Good News about Christ." (vs. 12) Are you willing to put up with anything to move the Kingdom?

Stand up to your point of view. As Americans, I've seen so many instances of shock as to how other cultures behave or how they conduct themselves in certain situations. As I opened today's reading, I brought up how many question the dress code in the Dominican outreach trips we do. This is something that is hard to explain, but Paul does a stellar job of it here. To reach certain groups of people, you need to form a mutual respect. If the women in the Dominican Republic view Christians as being modest, than that is what we'll be. If our clothes are a distraction to those we have come to be examples of Jesus to, than we will not wear those revealing clothes, because we know that Christ is worth more than a bikini or a tank top. We will become whatever we need to become to not be a hindrance to Christ's work through our attitudes, our clothes, our actions, etc. That is why we don't allow those clothes. Paul will become all things to all people so that many can be brought to Christ without the distraction of his own point of view. This does not mean we are uncomfortable or that we change anything that changes the gospel, but we meet people where they are.

What desires and points of view are you gripping on to that can be a hindrance to others when trying to see Christ in you? Gideon was able to stand up to his weaknesses and accept God's power in his life so that God's work could be carried out. Paul tells us to be all things to all people so that we are not a hindrance to sharing the gospel. If we can't wear a tank top because it will be too distracting in a culture, than we won't wear it. The gospel is more important than our desires and our points of view. Consider your desires as way less than what God desires for you.

Day 98: Seeking His Heart

Day 98
Numbers 35-36; Mark 6:30-56

When we strive to love like Christ loved, we need to have Him in the center of our hearts. The Bible is filled with insight to God's heart and His ways. There is much to be learned about Him and how He works. Today, we'll look at just a few of God's characteristics and what is important to Him.

We can learn from the final couple chapters of Numbers as to some of the things God values. We have a God of justice and a God Who values life, and the sanctity of it. Laws were made to give people fair trials and judgements if someone was murdered. God wanted a chance for those who mistakenly killed someone to have a chance at living before others jumped to conclusions and avenged in the murderer's murder. God wants justice, but He does not want us to seek revenge. Refuges were set aside for those who unintentionally killed someone.

On the flip side of this, God wanted justice for those who purposely killed someone. God cares about lives, and it is very evident throughout His entire Word. He molded us. He planned for us. He cares for us. Even before we were born. When is life is taken, God wants justice to be served. While culture continues to change, God's heart does not. All lives must be justified and protected. This does not mean we as humans are to seek revenge. That is justice are two different things.

Jesus showed the disciples the importance of seeking quiet time with His Father. Jesus set an example and led them off to be by themselves. Seeking a quiet time is most definitely a necessity of growing in Christ. We can learn so much by being in tune with God on a daily basis and following His ways throughout this life will show us much about Him. Seek that time fervently each and every day, as it is a time to be treasured.

We can see the compassion that Jesus pours out on the hungry crowd of 5,000, yet Jesus empowers His disciples to feed them. While Jesus worked the miracle in bringing enough food for the crowds, He allowed the disciples to ponder it and work to gather what there was. The people contributed what they had. God wants to empower us and use what we have to share His love and feed people around us - physically and spiritually. We are valuable assets to sharing Him and His Good News and He values us enough to entrust us with His mission.

When we spend that time getting to know Christ and what His heart is about, we can face all sorts of waves and uphill battles. As the disciples battled the waves and the wind, they saw Jesus walking on the water and thought He was a ghost. Yet as soon as Jesus hopped in the boat, the wind settled and the waves died down. If we can truly learn God's voice and way, we can easily recognize His place in our lives and allow Him to settle our waves and achieve those uphill battles. We just need to realize Who He is and know that He is for us.

It is so essential to know God's heart and the value He places on you. Spending time in His Word, in prayer, in listening for Him throughout our everyday lives, and knowing His ways is what we need to strive for. Knowing Him and His passions will guide you in this world as you try and navigate through its ever-changing culture and values. Remember that He is a never-changing God. Seek His heart and fill yours with Him.

Day 97: Community

Day 97
Numbers 32-34; Mark 6:1-29

There is something about community that draws people in. When you find a group of people or a person that you can put faith and trust in, that is a blessing indeed. We were created to be in community with others and with God.

As we continue to read about the community of people that worked and worked their way towards the Promised Land, we can sense the community that God had formed in giving them duties and tasks to carry out in service to each other and to Him. We read how the tribes of Reuben, Gad and Manasseh wanted to claim land on the other side of the Jordan river (opposite of the Promised Land). While Moses was skeptical and wondered if they were trying to get out of the work of fighting for the Promised Land, the people assured him that they simply wanted to settle and get situated in safety. There is something very important about having safety within a community. When you are vulnerable, whether it is physically, emotionally, or spiritually vulnerable, having that safety and reassurance that you won't be judged is huge. It is hard to really open up and grow withing a trusted community if you are always under attack or worried what you say will come back to haunt you. If you are in a small group, encourage safety as priority. Make sure you have a group you can trust and keep you safe.

Set boundaries for yourself as well, as we read that the land was broken up in Numbers 34. This was a job for Moses, but he delegated much of the work that was laid out to him. A group of people that doesn't let you work alone is to be treasured. They help you and take direction well, not feeling bossed, but empowered to be apart of something big. Give yourself clear boundaries so you are not over-worked or stressed by the list of things you have to do. However, say "no" when you need to. A good community will help you see those flaws in your boundaries and help you improve. 

We also read as the writings of Numbers reflects back to all the places the people had been. Each of these places carried memories, whether good or bad, that created a lesson and growth for them as a people and community. While there are new generations in the time we are reading of this community, the lessons are still there. This is why it is important to reflect back and see what the Lord has done for you, especially if you are a family or community. I rely heavily on one of the groups I'm apart of in my church, an outreach team that visits the Dominican Republic each year. While we have been an intact group, that forms differently over the year, we still laugh at memories we've shared and remember what we have learned from experiences. We learn each other's temperaments and weaknesses and encourage one another based on what we know. Looking back is important. Though we aren't to dwell there, we can continually take lessons from there and remember how powerful our God is.

When Jesus sent out His disciples, He told them to bring nothing. Nothing except someone to go with. He sent them off two by two to do ministry and service. When we can face things with another person, we can encourage each other. There is a reason Jesus sent them out together, and wants us to work together. So rather than going it alone and facing challenges by yourself, find someone you can rely on to encourage you, and someone you can encourage. You will face rejection, like Jesus did in Nazareth. People will underestimate you and tear you down. Find a person that can appreciate you for who you are and see the gifts you have to offer. Allow them to encourage you to keep going.

King Herod actually respected John the Baptist, even though he told him to leave his adulterous relationship with Herodias. While this advice was valid, Herod still respected him, as Herodias wanted John dead, and Herod wouldn't let her. But because of a bad vow and a reputation to be upheld, King Herod allowed John to be beheaded. We need to be careful to listen to the advice of those we trust, so we are not caught in a trap that separates us from what God intends. Not only listen to advice, but heed it, if it is Godly advice. Allow the people you respect to have a say in what you do.

Community is a huge part of your Christian walk. Surround yourself with trust-worthy people who strive to serve and grow in Christ. It is important to know you are not alone in  your worries and your frustrations as you walk through this life. Reflect back on how God has used people to grow you and be sure to be poured into and pour into others as well.
 

Sticks and Stones

As I stare at the bruises on my arms from the 6 IV sticks I received, I notice they are healing. One week later, but they are on the track to clearing me of looking like an abuse case. I can't help but think of that phrase, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." While bruises hurt and can't be touched for a few days without a little wincing, words do hurt for a very long time.

I've always been the kid to stick her foot in her mouth, then regret it for days, weeks, months after. I'm not even exaggerating. I still think about the time I said something stupid to someone while working 10 years ago at camp and I still call myself an idiot over it because apparently my joke became someone's reality. I didn't know the history there nor did I know what their life was dealing with in that moment, because 1: I didn't bother to find out. 2: I didn't think outside of my own shoes. Words last. Bruises fade.

We are in a time right now where everyone is throwing around hateful words. They don't realize it - that is the sad thing, or maybe they realize it and not care. Either way, it needs to end. These words are destroying lives, hurting families, and breaking up friendships. If I sound dramatic, then you must be one of the ones flaunting the words, unknowingly expressing rights for the sake of your own agenda, and you fail to notice how your blanket statements and pointedness towards your "friends" can actually do harm right in front of you.

Luckily, in 1 Corinthians 13, we read this: "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."

Because of this passage, I can feel a little release. The people who speak harshly to me and have never taken the time of day to understand my life, my history, my family, my struggles, my heart, my daily hardships...don't deserve rental space in my head. The last few months have been hard. I'm going to be brutally honest here: I've had things go through my mind that have been unhealthy, unloving, and have caused me to question who I am as a daughter of the King. Those words have made me depressed for months and it has affected my family. But do the ones who throw words at it, in hopes of solving world problems even care to know the problems of the people around them before casting "their opinion"? Obviously not. 

So from now on, if you're like me and are affected by peoples' words, start over today.
Remember they don't have credibility in your life because:
1) They don't love you
2) They don't care about anything but their words and their "rights". Thus, they don't care about yours, unless you jump on board with theirs.
3) They will never assume the best out of you. 
4) They have not earned your respect. 
5) They will go public and never actually sit down with you to know your life. 
6) They will probably hate you no matter what you say. 
7) They should be ignored for all the reasons listed above. 

I've set a standard for myself when receiving "criticism". If someone is going to cast criticism at me, and I'm going to actually listen to it and consider it, they must:
1) Love Jesus
2) Love the Church (in general)
3) Love me
It doesn't work otherwise. 

You are loved. Just make sure you find those people who love you and meet your criteria and listen to them, not because you are fearful or hateful, but because you are important too. Don't ever allow toxic people to make you go to dark places over political or personal agendas. Those things don't last anyways. Jesus does and His love endures forever.

Day 90: Judgment: The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

Day 90
Numbers 16-17; Mark 2

It seems that in the world we currently live in at the moment, people feel very much at liberty to judge others and decide who they are based on surface evaluation. When you take the time to think about God's judgement and how Jesus handled judgements as we read about today, our petty gossips and calls can be put to shame. Our God is One of jealousy and wrath if we continually complain against Him. Jesus looked beyond the sin of a person, as we read about today as well. Let's learn from these instances today.

We can all think pretty highly of ourselves at times. We think we are the best, the most holy, the most worthy... Yet if you are a Christ-follower, you should know that the foot of the cross is a level playing field. It doesn't matter how the sin the person next to you committed and and few sins you've committed line up in comparison. You're both sinners and need redemption. We read about some jealousy in Numbers as the leaders fight to go up against Moses and Aaron, claiming that a new leader needed to be in charge. Moses tells him to be ready for the Lord to choose (as this is what a great leader would do - leave it in the Lord's hands). As you read, you see it didn't quite work out for Korah and his cohorts. The Lord's wrath spilled out upon them and their families, as well as the people offering incense. The judgement was put in God's hands, rather than that of Moses or Aaron.

Rather than trying to constantly throw guilt and judgement around to people you believe deserve it, allow God to handle it. The people who tried to overthrow Moses knew better, but allowed their arrogance to get in the way, thus the Lord took radical action upon them. As the people continue to grumble the very next day, we again, see the Lord's anger stir up. As you sit and read about their complaining, I bet like me, you just shook your head and wondered how the people could be so dumb. Yet look at your own life and what you have. Consider all the Lord has done for you and then put it up against the times you weren't happy or you complained. We fall guilty as well. Remember to thank the Lord for what He has given you, rather than being discontent with it. We don't deserve any of it, yet we act like we deserve the kingdom at times.

As Jesus carried out His own ministry, He too was surrounded by judgement-casters. The religious leaders obviously didn't support what He was doing and not only judged Him, but the people He hung around with. How often do we stand on the sidelines and talk about "those people" or share about who so n' so is hanging out with. Before you judge, consider who Jesus hung out with and what He came here for. He states as he was eating with Matthew's friends that the healthy don't need a doctor, but the sick do. The perfect people don't need Jesus, but the imperfect do. Here's a hint: NONE of us is perfect.

Not only did the religious leaders cast judgement about the people Jesus hung out with, but in turn, cast judgement on Who He was. We do this all the time. We need to decide each and every day Who Jesus is to us. The leaders doubted. We may doubt too. So many thought He was crazy, evil, or that He was indeed the living God among us Who died so we may live. The choice is yours. No one can make it for you. Decide today and everyday Who Jesus is to you. He doesn't need our approval, but we most definitely need His. The good news is, when you run to Him, you are approved.

Judgement is good, as it helps us grow when it comes from the Lord. Judgement is bad, when we try to do it ourselves to others. Judgement can be ugly, as we read today in Numbers. One thing is for sure, however: Judgement is to be done by God. Stop casting it yourself and deciding who is worthy around you. Simply exist in the light of Jesus, loving others, and allowing Him to do the rest. Why make more work for yourself?

Day 87: Comparison Trap

Day 87
Numbers 12-13; 2 Thessalonians 3

Comparison can be the root of many problems in our lives. It brings on pride, gossip, jealousy, misguidance, laziness, distraction, and other various issues. We can choose to put our eyes on what everyone around us has, or how God uses everyone around us and be jealous, or we can remember what He has done for us and thank Him for all He has given us.

I think we all believe to an extent that God has spoken through us. But do you sense the tension of pride in that statement? We may get a little jealous when God has used others in great ways. When we start comparing ourselves and the work we have done to others around us, we set aside Christ and His work. We actually hinder Him from working through us because of our pride. As I read of the situation with Miriam and Aaron play out, I can't help but cringe because I have been that person. The one who looked around me, rather than up and started comparing, then getting jealous, then getting eaten from the inside out with it. The unhealthy place comparing and jealousy puts you is a hard return to what God had intended, and time is lost on your comparison trap. When you can finally let that go, however, and allow your eyes to rest only on Christ, there is something freeing about it.

The pride of ourselves stems from this. When we are prideful, we think way too much of ourselves. This is the opposite of humility, which is something God looks highly upon as a character trait, as we can see from the interaction with Moses, Miriam, and Aaron. Moses' humility stemmed from an ongoing, growing relationship with God. How are you aligning yourself to be a more humble person? That being thinking of yourself less?

Comparison also leads to thinking we're not good enough. As the people scouted out the land they were to receive, they saw the giants there, and figured they couldn't defeat them. The only four that had faith were Moses, Aaron, Caleb, and Joshua. If you can recall, however, God has pulled these people out of some sticky situations before. It was obvious the people weren't looking up at God, but ahead at their problems. Rather than always looking directly at the giants in front of you, comparing them to your capabilities and knowledge, look up and remember where God has brought you. Remember the big problems He worked you through before, and remember that faith doesn't make sense.

When we compare our lives to the lives in this world around us, we can easily set our focus to our world, rather than to Christ. Paul lays out some specific instructions to the people of Thessalonica, that may contradict the people around them and their actions and values. This is tough. In a world of freedom and its own definition of it, it is hard to remember the true freedom that comes from Christ alone. We need to work on comparing what we have to those around us in this world. What the world values isn't what we as Christ-followers are to value. Even what some believers value aren't what we are to value. Paul warns us to avoid lazy believers, or those who refuse to work for their keep. Don't fall into the ideals of life, but run with the path God put you on.

What life are you comparing yours to? Whose face do you think of when you begin to doubt who you are and what Christ is capable of in your life? Turn that face into that of Christ and His power in your life. He has been so faithful to you so far- don't forget that as you look at other places to compare. Allow Him to become your center, in being thankful to Him for everything you have and are. He is our standard to live by. No one and nothing else deserves that spot.

Day 82: Purpose Benefits

Day 82

Numbers 4-5; 1 Thessalonians 4

There is something to having purpose and carrying it out wholeheartedly that causes great joy in life. Having purpose in doing the Lord's work is an even deeper form of joy that can only come from Him. As we read today, purpose and obedience to God's calling on your life has great benefits. 

As we continue to read how God organized the people in Numbers, we begin to see how they moved forward as one to carry out the work God put before them. Their lives centered around Him and the were careful to do the work God called them to do. There is a little foreshadowing here to the church today. God has placed skills, gifts, talents, passions and experiences in our lives to carry out His work. Are you merely a spectator in the church, or are you a team player in moving the body forward? 

Coming from someone who works in the church, I can tell you right now that no job is too small. There are pieces, big and small, that come together to do work God lays before us. Simply shaking a hand on a Sunday morning can ripple great first impressions across a person's heart as to this whole "church thing". Don't overlook your purpose and calling within the church. If you are a Christ-follower, there is a role you need to be in. 

Purpose also combats sin and temptation. I firmly believe that if we are truly focused on Christ and the roles He's put us in, we will combat the temptations in our lives with more conviction. We will still stumble, but getting back up will be easier if we know Who we're running to. The church in Thessalonica had Paul worried as he feared they would be tempted by what was around them. However, he learned differently when Timothy reported back, and he was full of joy. Not only were the people thriving against temptation, but they were thriving in their purpose in being the church.

Discovering our purpose in God's plan is huge. Not only does it help you combat temptations in your life, but you gain an immense amount of joy in all circumstances. Serving Christ through the church is a calling if you are a Christ-follower, as we see foreshadowed in Numbers and carried out in Paul's letters. Are you serving in the church, or are you merely a spectator? Allow the gifts, talents, skills, and experiences that God has placed in your life to serve Him.

Day 81: Givers and Takers

Day 81

Psalm 36-37

If it is one thing I have learned over the last few months, there is a vibe left by those who take that completely contradicts that of those who give. I can't even tell you how broken, depressed and hopeless takers have made me, yet, Jesus warns us that those "thieves" come to steal and destroy. Rather than always thinking of the material things that are taken from us, it all became clear to me that Jesus came to seek and save us, while others who steal joy will be pushed aside. 

Our reading in Psalms today is no different in offering the hope that comes from giving, even when takers are everywhere. David is struggling with the poison that comes from that vibe of wicked people. He questions himself and feels the joy being sucked right out of his life as he continues to run from his enemies. I can only imagine how draining it is for David to be in such a situation of the feeling of constant judgement, wickedness, and hate towards him.

There are perks to being a giving, Godly person. God will lead you. He delights in you. Even when they stumble, they will never fall. (Ps. 37:23-24) I think we sometimes fear giving of so much of ourselves. This is understandable. People hurt you. People take advantage. People leech to you. It's a tough world in the one of a giving spirit. However, God's promises are that we don't have to go it alone. We never need to worry about losing anything in this life because He is the ultimate thing we need. David tells us not to worry because the wicked will fade away.

We serve a giving God. He gave us the ultimate sacrifice and He gives to us on a daily basis if we truly trust in Him. "Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, Your faithfulness to the skies.

Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, Your justice like the great deep." 36:5-6

His giving is endless and immeasurable. We can be a piece of that in someone's life, and continue to be filled up by Him. The readings of these Psalms tell us how we are to be and the blessings and consequences that come with each. 

 

Be someone who pours into the lives of others around you. There is a reason God placed people in your life right in front of you. Don't steal joy or cause someone to question their worth. Continue to give for the Lord in all you do. Work as if you work for Him, because even if your life and your work feels meaningless, it has purpose. Remember that the people who continue to take from you will soon fade. Do the will of God and you will have all you need. 

Day 68 - All-Knowing

Day 68
Psalm 31-32

You may feel ignored by the people around you, or even the people who are close to you, but you should know that God always sees you and hears you. He keeps tabs on you and knows your heart. He will protect you and provide for you in the just the right ways. He will place you in just the right situations to help you grow and be more faithful to Him. He knows your desires and what you long for. He knows.

On the flip side, He also knows all of our bad thoughts. He knows about the person we lied to, the things we thought about that girl's dress or hair. He knows what we do when we are alone. He knows when our motives are not good.

However, we are living for a forgiving and compassionate God Who longs for us to come to Him. When we mess up and need to ask for His hand, He will give it to us. Holding in our sin and downfalls can create a guilt that is bubbling over to near-insanity. Letting those go to God and allowing Him to forgive you will take the burden away from you. He knows your situation, why not be open about it from your point of view to Him.

He knows all! He knows what we do when we are alone. He knows our thoughts and our motives. Come to Him with confession and be free from your guilt and from the pains that drive you down. He will offer you His hand and forgiveness if you just confess and ask! He knows what you need right now.

Day 57 - Christ's Compassion

Day 57
Exodus 27-28, Matthew 14

The intricacies of the piecing together of tabernacle and the logistics of it is definitely an indication of how detailed and intricate our God is. This shows how detailed He is with our lives and our hearts too! He cares about every aspect of our lives, no matter how trivial and complicated our situation may seem. He knows and He wants you to come to Him.

Our reading in Matthew today is a prime example of God's heart for us, as we see the compassion, sadness, and care that Jesus shows here. As Jesus receives word that his friend, John the Baptist, was killed He tries to go find solitude to grieve. But as we read, the people follow Him and He notices the need that is before Him. Rather than avoiding the multitude of people tracking Him down, Jesus feeds them by performing a miraculous feat in multiplying the bread and fishes.

When we read of Peter walking on the water with Jesus, we can see where faith comes into play here. Jesus cares for Peter and grabs him when he falls into the water, but also reminds him that it takes faith to stay afloat. Jesus wants us to have that faith in Him and to trust that He will catch us when we fall. He wants us to grow and to lean on Him, even if that means we have to learn some hard lessons at times.

The next time you question your worth, remember how much Christ cares for you. He has every detail and every step planned for us. He cares for our needs and what we are desiring. And, He cares that we continue to grow and lean on Him in all circumstances. Remember how much He loves you - so much that He died for you, so you can spend eternity with Him!
 

Day 38 - Own It

Day 38
Job 32-33, Matthew 1

We see how God takes ordinary people to do extraordinary things and make wonderful points. Matthew leads up to the birth of Jesus through people who weren't all that holy. As you will see as we make our way through the Word, however, is that God used these people to bring the Savior!

Trudging through life, and trying to cope in "survival mode" seems to be a theme for many. We get through a day and move onto the next one, not really looking back or looking ahead. When we hit a wall and mess up, we figure we are unworthy or done with what God had planned for us, but the truth of the matter is those moments are when God can shine in you most.

Even in Job's situation, God will move in extraordinary ways. He has a plan, He has a plan, He has a plan! Despite how people judge you and what they think about the situation you are in, He is ultimately the One in control.

Each of the names leading up the Christ's birth had a story and they had hardships. There are no perfect people, nor are there easy lives, but these people, whether you had heard of them or not, played a huge role in bringing Christ to the world. No matter how insignificant you feel or how messed up you think your life is, God will use you!

Joseph, Mary's husband, was a great example of owning his situation. Because Mary had gotten pregnant (Joseph was unaware of how until the angel came to him) he had made plans to leave Mary quietly. In this culture, this was a big deal. Mary could have been stoned to death if Joseph had blown the whistle on her being a "cheater", before knowing the whole story. But Joseph, we read, takes ownership and he "took" Mary to be his wife. This word "took" means to take (receive) by showing strong personal initiative. Joseph owned this situation and stayed in God's plan!

Where are you finding yourself in life today? No matter how insignificant you feel, or how mundane your days are, remember, God is using them for a greater purpose. You may feel like your life is so messed up and there is no fixing it, but God has a plan! We see all the "messed up" people He used to bring us a Savior! He will do greatness in and through you too! Own this day and your situation. Own your life!

Day 14 - Worth

Day 14
Genesis 29-30, John 12

Worth is sought after in many places. You can try and find it among friends, relationships, status, achievements...but unless you find it in God's eyes, you won't ever feel content. We see this in the story of Jacob, Leah and Rachel. Jacob worked hard to "earn" Rachel from Laban, but was fooled into having Leah first. There was quite the rivalry going on between the sisters as they thought providing children was the way to Jacob's heart. If only Rachel could see that this wasn't what Jacob wanted from her, and even became frustrated, asking her why she expected him to provide her the ability to have children. Again, we see a family taking matters into their own hands to compete and feel valuable in the eyes of someone other than God.
We even see how Jacob had fallen into this worth ritual as he built up his flocks from Laban's, creating more wealth for himself. 
But God shows great blessing on Jacob as he has many children, carrying out the promise made about his family having many descendants.

In John, Mary anoints Jesus with expensive perfume, being judged by the people around her for "wasting". But Jesus assures the people that she is in the right. Mary is finding her worth and pouring out her entire life to what matters most in this life - Jesus.
And as the story of Jesus in the Book of John starts to near the end, we see the build up to His death. His triumphant entry show the people who believed in Him, praising Him as he went by. Others, however, still didn't believe and continued to walk in darkness. The Pharasees wanted human praise over the Lord's praise, as they continued to try to look good before others. Jesus calls this out in verse 43.
Jesus tells us that He has come so we no longer need to remain in darkness. Our eyes can be so opened wide if we just look to the Light that is Jesus! He shows us where our eternal value lies, but accepting this is hard for people. It can be discouraging watching a friend continually place their worth in other things that keep burning them. Eternal, lasting worth cannot come from things or people. It cannot come from wealth, spouses, friends...only in Christ.

What do you rely on to make you feel "worth" and value? Are you counting on a relationship? Are you hoping money will get you there one day? None of those things will do it in the long run. Money isn't forever. People are people. God, however is everlasting and unchanging. Placing your worth and gaining your value from Him will never send you wrong. Ponder today what you need to do to build yourself up in Him.

Day 5: Where's Your Worth?

Day 5
Genesis 10-12, John 4

I think we all struggle with "worth" at times. We search desperately for where it comes from and even place it in things that will never satisfy us fully. Today, we read many instances of this.
After the flood, people came together to build a tower as high as the heavens to be "great". There is nothing wrong with this achievement, or achievements in general, but in reality - who is it placing the spotlight on? When we pour our lives into our collections, our medals, our trophies, our networking, etc., we do those things to feel good about ourselves, and be "important" or "achieve". Again, nothing wrong with these things - I myself like to collect things from places I go because I'm a nerd and think it's cool to have. BUT, when we place that glory on ourselves, rather than building up a life pointed back to Christ, we become like the people building the tower. Like those people, however, God has a way of mixing things up at times to change our perspective.

It's interesting that the story of Abraham (Abram) begins shortly after the Tower of Babel in Genesis. Abraham had an opposite way of glory, in that he followed God's command to leave his homeland and go the path God wanted of him. We see however, when Abram takes matters into his own hands in Egypt, things go a little haywire.
Abraham, as we'll continue to read, was truly a man who placed his worth and direction in the Lord.

In John, we read about another matter of "worth" when Jesus comes to a Samaritan woman and speaks to her. This is very unlikely in this time, as Jews and Samaritans didn't speak, as you gathered from your reading. Not to mention this woman had had 5 husbands and was living with a man, unmarried. Yet Jesus shares with her the Good News of eternal living water. She is so excited, she tells her village about the "Man Who knew everything she had done". This draws more people to hear Jesus and believe. This woman was able to bring people to Jesus, despite her circumstances. Where then is her worth?

When we place our worth in people, things, achievements, etc., we are at a loss of a truly wonderful feeling of eternal security in Jesus. We can have those things and achievements, but they should never be our ultimate goal. Jesus can take your circumstance and make it something so useful and great for His mission. Don't ever throw in the towel of who you are because He has great plans for you!