Agape Love - Never Fails

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

- 1 Corinthians 13

We have spent February so far looking at attributes of agape love. Many of the characteristics we talked about may seem daunting and hard for you, and that's ok, because the final piece in those descriptions of agape is that is never fails. No matter how many times we fall, fail, or flounder, we will always have God's loving arms to run back to. He will never give up on us and will always love us, even if we don't love Him back. The definition of agape love is that. It is unconditional. This is a type of love that can only come from something bigger than us, and the greatest example by far is a God Who sacrificed for us. What other God is there who has done such things?

So as we wrap up this little series on Agape, let's consider one more time the words in 1 Corinthians 13 as a whole, because if one thing is clear, it's that without love, unconditional love, you get no where. You can possess all of the power and faith in the world, but still hit a wall without love.

We misuse the word "love" and give it a definition that doesn't fit. We have turned the word "love" into meaning to "accept", "affirm", or "approval", when that is not love at all. Agape love doesn't love because of what you do, but it loves because of of who God is. It loves because of the will it has to love, without strings attached. We fall off the wagon over and over and God still loves us, even if He doesn't agree with what we are doing. This world has made about earning and affirming.

The other day, my currently, kid-scissor-happy daughter cut a hole in our couch. I wasn't home, and I heard about it through a text. I can't lie, there was a moment I was utterly infuriated, but there wasn't a second I considered that I would ever stop loving her. I don't accept what she did. I don't affirm what she did. I don't approve of what she did. But I still love her. So why do we run around in this world thinking if we don't "accept", "affirm" or "approve" of one's behavior as an adult, that we don't love them? Or that we shouldn't love them? We've all cut a hole in the couch, so to speak, yet people still love us.

So if love is not affirming, or accepting, or approving, then what is it? It's 1 Corinthians 13. And if we are to actually grab onto this scripture like we truly mean it and we truly want to live it, then what? We read that without love, we have absolutely nothing. Without love we don't make a difference at all. Without love, we are simply annoying. And I hate to say it, but I know Christians like this. So why are we so afraid to love?

Why do we stand outside of the places we disagree with, or around the people we disagree with, making a statement, when we could be in relationships with those people we don't agree with or who have done something we don't agree with? What makes the bigger impact here? Picketing, marching, t-shirt wearing, and tract flailing, or taking time to understand a person and love on them despite the shame, despite the things we disapprove of in their lives, despite what other people say? Isn't this what Jesus did? Could you imagine if God's love was approval, acceptance, and affirming behaviors we do? None of us would be in His love. Why are we so afraid?

Love never fails. Not only in the sense that it never gives up, but in the sense that it is a solid "strategy". Without it, we are exclusive and we aren't difference-makers. Agape never fails. Unconditional, Christ-like love never fails.

Scripture to Read:
John 13:34-35, 1 Corinthians 13

Questions to Ponder:
How did Jesus love people who weren't "accepted" by society? How does Jesus love people who aren't always "accepted" by Christians? Name some examples. How does this speak to you?
What is a group of people that you don't agree with at all? How can you show love to someone you don't agree with? What difference does love and a relationship make?
Does your logic of love match up God's logic of love for all people? What needs to change in your logic?

Agape Love - "No Offense. None taken"

I have been told that I am a highly sensitive person. I would get my feelings so hurt as a kid and teenager when someone said something about a "demographic" I happened to fall into (teen, student, christian, girl, etc.) And now I see carelessness all around me from either the people living with me under my roof, or people I interact with who just can't see past their own ways, or people on the news who I just wish didn't exist in this world, and I just want to throw things and call people losers. Nothing stirs me up faster than careless people. Or judgy people (yes, I know I am a judgy person. Irony, huh?) But I have also learned that I can't control what people say or do, even if it's directly about\to me. I CAN control how I react though. I can do me and find peace because I leave people's opinions far away from me. I can control not to be angry at every little thing.

Everyone seems to be finding something to be offended by nowadays. There used to be a response to the phrase "no offense", which was "none taken." It is an interesting interaction indeed and one that has seemed to stop being used. After pondering this interaction, I realized that we can choose not to take offense when someone says something that is their own opinion, whether it's distasteful or not. I'm sure there are offensive people out there whose comments aren't warranted, but we can choose who we listen to and how we respond. Anger isn't a sin. Even Jesus was angry at times. But depending on how you use your anger, it can become one. The next characteristic of agape listed in 1 Corinthians 13 is that it's not easily angered, or provoked, or offended, or stirred up. We can remember a few things when we want to be spurred on by someone else's comments or actions.

We need to decide who we will allow to affect us. Find your people and treasure their opinions over any other. I found this as GOLD in Perry Noble's book, The Most Excellent Way to Lead.

"If I'm going to receive criticism from someone, they need to meet the following requirements:
- They must love Jesus.
- They must love the church.
- They must love me." (pg. 122)

 Because of these "standards" I can choose who will provoke me and who won't. Some people don't deserve my time of day or my energy of anger because nothing will change anyways if I'm angry. If I'm going to allow anyone to "stir me up", they will be giving me words for loving reasons. We can choose. We have the power to choose. The problem of today's world is that we get provoked so easily, and we leave no time to let it mellow. The internet, social media, people are a click away. We have not time to settle ourselves before we are typing words that we can't delete or take back. They are there forever, even if you think you did delete them. They are there for future employers to look up. For your kids to see. For strangers to see. Don't allow anger to destroy you because you CAN choose to walk away. To take a breath. To accept criticism from the people who love you and do it for the right reasons.

Proverbs 19:11 offers some sound advice:
"Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense."

By trying to gain understanding of why someone says what they are saying to us, we become less about our emotions and more about theirs. While this isn't something we believe someone may deserve because of the words they just threw at us, we do our part to create peace - not only for the other person, but for you. It brings you glory to overlook an offense, as the verse says. Not only does overlooking an offense cause you to be less emotional about what has offended you, but I believe it could also be a game changer in today's world of constant offensiveness. It is the recipe that causes people to actually notice you are happier than others. That you are not wrecked by someone because you are too busy being wrecked by God.

Overlook offenses, because honestly, they aren't meant to be your problem, and they aren't. They might be a problem for the person handing them out, but that is something they need to consider between them and God. Offenders cry insecurity. Don't cry insecurity back. Instead choose to stand on the Rock that wipes those things away. Nothing will matter but your faith 100 years from now. Just shine a light by choosing your path of peace.

Scripture to Read:
James 1:19-20, Ephesians 4:26-31

Questions to Ponder:
Why is it important to slow down when we are angry?
How can we choose not to take offense when someone says something offensive?
What are some ways not reacting can actually become a light to the One you serve eventually?

Agape Love- How (not to be) Rude!

Whenever we have company over, I go into utter house-wife panic. It is a day of roaring, mommy tornado spinning from room to room, picking up towels, putting laundry in baskets, shoving clutter into closets, chasing dog hair with the vacuum, and screaming about the crap that is essentially the blame for all the problems in my life. I turn into this person I hardly recognize as I order unsuspecting family members to various tasks and aggressively accuse them of not doing anything anytime for any reason. We literally throw parties throughout the year just so the house gets cleaned, and so I can shame my family for their laziness and lack of caring about the junk they sit on. I become a mom-ster and a cyclone of insecurity. And honestly, the rudest things come out of my mouth in those moments of crumbs, and socks in the couch, and built up spillage on the stove. It is ridiculous.

Agape love is contrasted by rudeness. The word used in 1 Corinthians 13:5 for this characteristic of agape means "to act unseemly". Unseemly meaning inappropriate or not proper. To which I picture a 2-4 year old throwing a tantrum, and I realize that's exactly what this means. We are a tantrum-throwing people, thinking it's okay to say what we want to say because it feels good, or because we deserve to say it. Yet when it is self-serving and not thinking about how it affects the other person we're screaming at, it is not agape. Sometimes we are rude without even realizing it.

Gossip is a harsh rudeness. It talks about someone without trying to help or fix the problem. If you are talking about someone to someone who has no power to help the someone, you are gossiping. I think in the Christian world, we cross the line of "Did you hear about so n' so? We need to pray for them." While I'm all in favor for praying for someone, we really need to look at the heart of this. Are we really trying to offer them help in "prayer" or are we just spreading news to someone who will spread it to someone else? Keep your gossip in check.

Titus 3:2 sums avoiding rudeness up perfectly:

"They (believers) must not slander (gossip, rumor-spreading, making assumptions) and must avoid quarreling. Instead, they should be gentle and show true humility to everyone. Instead, they should be gentle and show true humility to everyone."

Ways we can avoid rudeness -
Remember our why. The Bible may tell us to not gossip, but we have to stop and remember that it also tells us to love one another. So when you ask yourself "why shouldn't I talk about that person", answer it with - because it hurts people. And that is not loving people. What kind of a testimony would you profess in the way you treat people? The way you treat your coworkers, your spouse, your kids, your parents, the waitress serving you, the person in the checkout lane...consider how to love them and why you shouldn't think, speak, and act rudely towards them.

Stop, listen and consider. Have you considered why the person you are acting rude towards is acting rude towards you? Perhaps they have a hard diagnosis, or their spouse is leaving them, or they don't have money to keep the electricity on. You don't know what a complete stranger is facing. Is this an excuse to act like you're 2? No, but treat them like human beings anyways, who have struggles like you. Show them a little light in the midst of their lives. Ask them if you can pray for them somehow. You wouldn't even believe the stories you would hear of their struggling world.

Humble yourself. Remember you are not the most important person in the world and it doesn't revolve around you. Just being someone isn't serving you a meal the way you would like, remember we are all in need of grace. Consider grace, mercy and humility as the greatest gifts you could hand out. People are way more important than your meal, than your time, than your preferences.

Luke 6:31 sums this entire principle up nicely -
"Do to others as you would like them to do to you." 

Scripture to Read:
Titus 3:1-3, 2 Corinthians 10:31

Questions to Ponder: 
How are some ways you can come across as rude, even if you don't think you are rude?
Why should we treat people with love, even if we don't get that in return?
How is honoring people bringing glory to God?

Agape Love - Kill Them With Kindness

For mock elections senior year of high school, I was voted "nicest" female. While this was an endearing sort of achievement for me, I'm learning that nice isn't the same as kind. Nice is a "push over" term, while "kind" is a more solid sort of nice. It has guts and a backbone. Nice is swayed by a situation, while kind holds true to what is right for the other person. Nice would listen to your four year old when they cry because they don't want the medicine, but kind would force them to take the medicine because you know it will prevent them from getting sicker. Nice protects yourself, but kind protects the other person. Kindness packs a punch, while nice takes the punch. There's a reason why people say "kill them with kindness," and why it is important for Agape Love.

We don't realize that kindness is actually a powerful tool. It is something that plants seeds for changing hearts. The word for "kind" in the context of 1 Corinthians 13 means to "show oneself useful," or "to show your mildness." It is used as a verb, not a adjective, meaning the word "kind" here is a moving word, and action word. This implies many things about being kind in showing love.

Kindness is helpful, not hurtful. In all honestly, some forms of nice mean it's also harmful, whether to yourself or to the person you're trying to be nice to. Nice isn't always honest and nice is draining. Kindness is an all around blessing that benefits everyone. You may sacrifice to show the kindness, but you are blessed through it. Kindness promotes positivity and joy. It displays something on the outside, making what is on the inside evident.

Kindness is polite. Even when you don't feel like being polite. Proverbs 15:1 says

"A soft word stirs up wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

It is amazing how far a kind word of understanding can douse a heated situation. To pour genuine kindness out in a loud, rude world reveals a greatness of love. We truly live in a world that thrives on selfishness and rudeness, with occasional acts of kindness. The louder you are the better you feel. The louder you are about your beliefs, your opinions, your stance, your situation, the more of difference you believe you make, but that is not true by this definition of love.

Love is kind. Love is being helpful. Love is mild. Not rude. Not hurtful. Not heated. How do we strive for this kind of a smell in our Christian lives? How do we douse the loudness of an opinionated world? Could you imagine if we simply showed up on the front lines to offer a helping hand, rather than making a statement? How would this change our world, indeed, because everyone is trying to make a statement right now. Let's allow kindness to be our statement.

Kindness listens and strives to understand. Kindness offers the people you don't agree with in the picket line a bottle of water. Kindness meets the need rather than feeds the greed. Kindness packs a punch of humility, rather than an opinionated pedestal. Kindness offers words that build up in what we are for, rather than arguing with words of what we are against. Kindness puts someone ahead of you, even if you don't agree with them because you know kindness makes all the difference.

Change this world with kindness. Love will shine through.

Scripture to Read:
1 Corinthians 13, Titus 3:4,

Questions to Ponder:
How has Christ shown us kindness, even when He doesn't agree with everything we do?
How is kindness a word of action?
How can you show kindness to someone you don't necessarily agree with this week?

Defining Love - Types of Love

February in our culture is usually a mix of red hearts, glittery cards, and creepy cupids. This month can bring up all sorts of emotions, depending on who you are and how you view this Hallmark holiday. Some people eat up the roses and glitter, loving to feel the love, while others just absolutely hate the reminder of loneliness. I truly believe our world's view of love, however, is a little off of what God's view of love is. So, will you allow me to challenge you this month? Let's find ways to get around the loneliness or the glitter obsessions that hinges on people, and look to a never-changing, eternal kind of love that is far more valuable than any earthly relationship you will have.

The world has so many definitions for love today. It seems like one person has a definition of love that is completely different from the next person. It is sometimes messy, but it is also beautiful. I think we get too wrapped up in one type of love, especially if you're a girl, dreaming of prince charming and watched a lot of Disney or Hallmark movies. I don't think there are many ladies who wouldn't want a prince charming, and so many hit their heads over and over trying to find Mr. Right. But love is more than a prince charming or a perfect relationship. Even if we don't have those things, there is a love that is greater, stronger, and more permanent. There is a love that is playful. There is a love that is unconditional. Even though we can have our own definitions for what love is, the Bible gives us 4 types of love. The following are the Greek words, found in the New Testament, but examples are found throughout the whole Bible (the Old Testament was Hebrew).

Eros Love - Erotic love. A healthy form of love portrayed in Scripture to be exclusive to only a husband and wife. I think we misuse this love today, giving it away too openly and with anyone we could have feelings for. However, giving it to one person is a gift indeed. Call me old fashioned, but the comparison traps aren't a factor in this way, and the priorities are set straight. Most of the examples in scripture where "Eros" is used is talking about the boundaries of this love. 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 is one.

"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good form them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

Celebrate Eros with the one chosen for you, not just with anyone.


Storge Love - A natural drawing type of love, like a mother to her newborn. It is a type of love that takes place within a household or within a family. Lack of this love is a hardened heart. The times it is used in scripture is in the lack of it, such as in 2 Timothy 3:3, using the word "astorge", or lacking a natural affection.

"...they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy."

A lack of natural love between a mother and her newborn would be crushing indeed. It is lacking happiness, mercy, understanding, as the passage states. There is work to do in a heart that can't experience this love, but there is work to do in any of these loves that are lacking.


Philia Love - A deep love in solid friendships. This love is one that we are called to have as a fellowship with other Christians.

John 13:35
"By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."  

This type of love is full of fondness for another. Liking of another. Kindness towards another. It is a camaraderie and a team. This type of love is of most importance as it looks to the benefit of others. Philia love has the potential to draw others into that camaraderie if it is used well and right. There is an appeal to this love that makes others want it because of the way it takes care of others.


Agape Love - This is a love that only comes from abiding in Christ. Agape is rarely used outside of the Bible because it can only be described through Christ. We strive for this love because it is the love that Christ His Father and He has for us. Unconditional. Sacrificial. Philia and Agape are set apart when Jesus challenges Peter, asking if he loved Him, and though Peter replies yes, Jesus asks him the same question 2 more times. Peter didn't understand though because he pictured Philia love, not Agape love. Jesus was asking if Peter Agaped Him. (

Agape love is not shown through how we feel or what is deserved. It is through our actions, regardless if the person deserves it. John 3:16 is the greatest example of agape.

"For God so loved (agaped) the world, that He gave is only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life."

The most powerful love we can have is that of Agape. Over the next several days, I want to look at how we can start defining Agape love through 1 Corinthians 13, where agape is defined practically.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

Let's consider love this month in ways that are not of this world, but of our God.

Scripture to Read:
1 Corinthians 13, John 3:16, John 13:35

Questions to Ponder:
When you think of the word "love" what comes to mind for you?
Which one of these "loves" are you most familiar with?
How can you start to grasp Agape love?