Fill the Gaps - What's Your Smell?

Oftentimes while working at camp, we would get through a morning of cleaning up after a week-long group, gather around on the porch of the coffee shop, and wait to be "dismissed" into our 24 hours off. In this time, some of us would nap, go to the beach, reflect, hit the city up north, play...whatever. But the director of the camp would tell us the same thing every single time before we went our separate ways for the 24 hours: "Remember you are representing this camp and Jesus wherever you go." And he was right. He is still right. We would eat dinner out in a city almost an hour away, or even hours away if we went further, and we always ran into a kid we had just had a camp that past week, along with their parents, and they knew exactly who we were. They would light up at the sight of the camp counselors they had. Not only that, if we were sporting the camp gear with the camp's name on it, and acting like fools - imagine how dumb we made camp to look. Even worse, that we made Jesus look to that kid. If I push this idea further, to someone who was sitting across the way who had never been interested in this "Jesus" or this "Bible" stuff (it said "Bible Camp" in the camp title), and we were acting foolishly, imagine how that taste of faith was left in that person's mouth. Someone is always watching you.

As Christ-followers, we need to have a set of convictions, or a term I like better - standards. If we really break down the verse of Romans 12:1-2, we'll find what these "standards" should look like. They are not restraining, yet they are not negligent. They are not enslaving, but they set us free. They are not heavy, but they fit perfectly into what a hurting world needs. They break a cycle of terrible values in family lines, yet are meant to build relationship. They are neither condemning, nor judgmental, but give us a target to aim for as we walk through this world on the line of it and Christ-followers.

Romans 12:2- "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will." 

Ruth considered what a Godly life should look like. The "renewing of her mind" caused her to not only step out and take a risk, but to be noticed by a Godly man, who protected and favored her. As we learn more and more about Boaz, it's surprising that Ruth was the one he noticed, which says a lot about Ruth's demeanor.

Being renewed in mind and transformed by Christ means we do it the right way. Boaz pursued Ruth in the right way in following the laws of the time and going to the man who was in line ahead of him to "claim" Ruth as his. Though Boaz has a way with words in this negotiation, he doesn't break the law or dishonor God through merely "stealing" Ruth, but has a man to man conversation. Being set apart means to not to be "snooty" in our faith, but to do things the right way. To be above reproach. Sometimes that means being humble and taking the proper steps and allowing processes to work out. Boaz displays Romans 12:2 perfectly. He tested God's will in doing the right thing and allowing it to fall into place. If it wasn't God's will, the unnamed man may have claimed Ruth and all that came with her himself.

Setting standards based on God's standards, not the world's speaks volumes of your loyalties. This may look like obeying laws of this world and respecting authorities we don't always agree with. (Romans 13) When we are waiting for the right relationship, opportunity, etc. we need to look based on what would please God, not our own desires. After all, we are told in Matthew 6:33 to seek Him first and His righteousness, and all else will come.

A relationship - many struggle to find someone who "measures up" to perhaps some high standards you've placed based on your convictions. So, as your friends tell you that those are unrealistic or you'll never find someone who will meet those standards, you begin to lower them more and more until you don't even recognize yourself anymore. Same goes for behavior. You start to think that it is impossible to play by all the rules, so you let perfectionism ruin it all, allowing one bad day to make bad decisions for a week, a month, a year...even a life.

Careers - I know unemployed people who won't take jobs because they are waiting for a "higher position" to open up. They won't provide for their family because they are too prideful to settle into a job that makes money at all. Let me be the first person to tell you that you need to provide, not hold on to pride. Your convictions may feel like you should have higher standards for where you work, but your convictions should actually feel like you have higher standards for the people you are providing for. Take care of your people, not your pride. If you are trying to work up the ladder, this is different. You are providing while you better yourself and your situation. If you are sitting at home on the couch with video games while there is no food for the table, time to move to something that provides.

So how do we renew our minds in order to be transformed? It's all the work of God, but we need to do our part in setting our minds on Him.

We realize God is bigger than where we're at in life. He can form plans out of mere turmoil. As we have seen throughout the book of Ruth, a story that has gone from a bleak, funeral-ridden, hopeless life, to a hope-filled, exciting occasion in a relationship, God's way always works out. Even if the process right now is long, tiring, and just feels hard, know that God has bigger plans in the works. If life feels boring, mundane, and as I call it "in survival mode", God has excitement around the corner.

Remember Who you represent. Just like our director would tell us to watch our actions, we should remember Who we are displaying as we slap on the label "Christian". Does that mean we bend over backwards...well, yes. We put others first, even if it makes our teeth grind. We count others as higher than us. We step away from arguments that aren't going to change a thing. We just allow God to do the work and represent Him well. We will screw up and we will fall at times, and yes, people will call you a hypocrite and judge you, but remember we all are. We all fall. We all need Jesus. Even the ones who point. Remember to show Jesus to them.

Let your light shine. Let your smell be sweet. Every circumstance you face has an opportunity to display God in your life. Every person  you interact with, you will give off a "smell". Even if you don't talk to them, people access you from across a room. Take every moment of this life and use it to shine, even on days you don't want to shine. Put off a vibe that screams redeemed. Shine in the crappiest times of life because that is when people stop and ask what in the world is wrong with you? Or why are you so "hopeful, positive, even joyful"? It doesn't mean we don't mourn the hardships, but we shine off Who has us in those hardships.

Walk this world like a Ruth or a Boaz. Try to see past circumstances, and accept God's will for what it is. Keep in mind that He has it all together, even when we are not together. Fill the gaps of your life with this hope and with standards that will make the world turn and wonder.

Scripture to Read:
Ruth 4:1-12, Romans 12:1-2

Questions to Ponder:
How do you think you can renew your mind?
What kind of "smell" do you think you give off when it comes to Christianity?
What do you think the term "living sacrifice" means in Romans 12:1? How do we do this in life?
How does the way in which Boaz went about marrying Ruth speak volumes of His standards and convictions?

Fill the Gaps - The Entitlement Trap

As I stepped carefully over puddles and half sidewalks, I could see the smiles coming from through doors and windows. Children came up to us. Parents waved as they held babies. Chickens, dogs, even cows at times roamed the streets, grazing through trash and mud. Barbed wire twisted around some houses, while other houses stood barely held together by sheets of scrap metal and cement blocks. I saw children laughing and playing as they flew plastic bag kites and pulled a milk carton car along the road. Some rolled bike tires down the hills, like it was the best thing ever. I used to ask why does everyone seem so happy here? Maybe it's a front or a face, but there is a genuine way of life that shows contentment as I walk through the village in the Dominican Republic. True, deep contentment. And I finally realized that entitlement is the factor. There is an epidemic of entitlement that runs rampant in America, even with the best of intentions.

Entitlement robs you of contentment. It doesn't take long if you are watching TV, listening to a radio, or walking through a store to realize that our culture and media urges us to think we "deserve" it. Even if you didn't want it before, you find yourself saying, "yeah...maybe I do deserve a (truck, vacation, new house, phone, etc.)" We fail to see what we have all of the sudden and realize we are more wealthy than much of the world we live in already.  Entitlement has you looking at what everyone else has, rather that what you have. Entitlement has you thinking you deserve when in reality we all deserve nothing. As Lecrae's song "Boasting" goes: "Tomorrow's never promised, but it is we swear. Think we're holding our own, just a fist full of air. God has never been obligated to give us life, if we fought for our rights, we'd be in hell tonight. Mere sinners owed nothing but a fierce hand. We never loved Him, we pushed away His pierced hands."

Entitlement says, "I deserve." We were created by an almighty God who can give us what we need when we need it. He gave us exactly what we need to live the best life now and the eternal life after this life, we only need to accept it. We entered this world with nothing, and we can take nothing out of it either. (1 Timothy 6:7)
"I don't deserve bad health."
"I deserve to be noticed."
"I deserve a raise."
"I deserve a better job."
"I deserve to be heard."
"I deserve to go first."
"My kid deserves the best."

We feed this mentality as a culture as soon as our kids are out of the womb. The truth is, our kids don't deserve everything, but sometimes they get everything. The truth is, we don't deserve bad health, but sometimes we're handed that card. We don't deserve anything but condemnation as we stumble around a perfect God. It's harsh, but it's truth. If we don't grasp it, we will be surprised indeed once we reach eternity.

Does this mean we beat ourselves up? Not at all. It means we stop expecting, and we start being grateful. As we continue to look to our model for this series, Ruth, we have seen how much she didn't expect, but showed complete gratitude to her mother in law and to Boaz. She came to this foreign land with Naomi, knowing full well she probably wouldn't have a future there, and started out working hard for her means, and for Naomi's means. She humbled herself to Boaz and showed gratitude for his favor. Ruth didn't expect a single thing. She found contentment.

Furthermore, Ruth's situation was one that anyone had the "right" to be discontented with. Widowed, no signs of a future, and forced to work harder to make a life. There is a good reason Naomi changed her name to Mara (meaning bitter), as Naomi displayed this emotion. And then when Boaz tells Ruth that she needs to wait for him to do the right thing and find a way to marry her legally. As exciting as this is, Ruth was content with this. Whether it worked out or not, she waited.

How do we get by entitlement and the sense of deserving everything in our time, and embrace contentment and gratitude?

Stop asking what people can do for you, and start asking what you can do for them. A huge part of realizing what you have is giving what you have to offer. God's perfect plan is worked into our gifts, talents, skills, resources. When we give, without expecting anything back, we find contentment indeed.

Count your blessings. Sure, your budget isn't as big as the Jones', but you can still get by. Your kids probably have toys that aren't only milk carton cars, but ones you step on every day. Maybe your health is terrible, but you still find joy in the small things that God places before you and you have a different appreciation for life because you know how precious each day is. You may feel like you have nothing, but you have people. You may believe no one is there, but God is, and if you've accepted His grace and gift, you have a gift that will never be taken away. There is always something to be thankful for, and if you can't find one, keep looking.

Let's change the norm in America and fill our gaps with Jesus, not with things we wish we had. Nothing will satisfy more than He.

Scripture to Read:
2 Kings 5:11, Philippians 2:3

Questions to Ponder:
How does entitlement cause us to completely miss seeing grace in our lives?
In 2 Kings we read about Naaman expecting to be healed. How does his attitude reflect one of entitlement and discontentment? What might he be missing in God's plan?
How does not expecting from others help you embrace contentment?

Fill the Gaps - Security Breach

I'm probably one of the most insecure people I know, which is ironic because I work with Jr. High girls. I'm just going to be honest and say I think they are more secure in who they are than I am half the time. Maybe that's why I identify with that group of people best...? Insecurity means a lack of confidence. Uncertainty about oneself. Questioning of your worth and place in this world. But security is not found in anything that can change.

We try to find security in relationships. Singles scramble to keep any prospect in their lives just so they feel secure in marriage. Not a good place to find security.

We try to find security in careers. Feeling a sense of accomplishment and worth in a place that we know won't always be there. Not a good place to find security.

We try to find security in power, beauty, money, people, things...all horrible things to find security in.

Find a security in the One Who says He will never leave you or forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6) That will never change, no matter how much you do. When we find security in Christ, nothing else will matter in 100 years. If you truly put your trust in Him and your life in His hands, you have nothing to worry about.

Ruth didn't try to squeeze God into her plans, but she followed the urging from God to go with her mother in law, to a place where no way ever would she find a future, just because of her origin. Ruth simply went about every day life, working to provide for Naomi and herself and God saw her heart and provided not only a living, but a man who honored Him and found favor in Ruth because of her lovely character and diligence. Ruth didn't show insecurity, she showed faithfulness and trust in a God she was just meeting. It is incredible to see how faithfulness wipes away insecurity.

I love the words to Lauren Daigle's song, You Say. It speaks volumes of how we should view security in Christ alone. If you haven't heard it, check it out here!
But the premise of the song is that we fight voices that say we're not enough, we are not loved, we are not worthy, but God says just the opposite of those things, and we should believe that what He says is true.

Insecurity will not only destroy you, it will destroy your relationships. Insecurity will place standards on people around you, mostly on your spouse or significant other, that they can't fill. Only God can fill them. The problem here is that you are trying to find security in humans, not God. The same goes for church. Church is a funny line because it is God's, but it is ran by imperfect humans. Many, many, many times people storm out, throw fits, or rant about how awful a church is because it didn't give them what they needed when they needed it. Again, where is the security here?

Insecurity in your career will leave you on mountaintops that will quickly tumble down into valleys, leaving you wondering why you're not happy. They you'll be scrambling back up the mountaintop again only to find yourself exhausted after each run, and depressed when you tumble back down.

Remember what God thinks of you and ask Him to reveal to you repeatedly the truth He has for you and about you. Insecurity creeps up from every direction - social media is a biggie, but God's Word is filled with love for you. See the things of this world, the circumstances of this life, and the accomplishments of your abilities as vapors that will be gone in the blink of an eye. See God's security as the eternal, secure picture that you should cling to hardest.

Scripture to Read:
Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:8

Questions to Ponder:
How does knowing that God is the same always encourage you?
What sorts of things are you putting security in that are leaving you frustrated and depressed?
How can you take steps today to remind yourself of what God thinks of you, so you can get out of the cycle of temporary securities?

Fill the Gaps - The Process of Purity

I think many of us have been through that awkward talk with our parents or at youth group about purity. Our minds tend to go to sexual purity when we hear that word, but purity is so much more than that area of our being. It is even more than our morals and lack of sin. Purity comes from our whole being.

When we truly boil down the definition of purity, it helps to think about things we reach for that are pure, thus better for us or better quality. Pure honey, pure maple syrup, pure gold, pure essential oils...These things are more "whole" in what they actually are, meaning no additives. As we read Matthew 5:8, Jesus tells us, "blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God." This is a statement that should make us want to jump up and start deciding how to be "pure in heart".

As we carry on through our study of Ruth and how God blesses her in her faithfulness, we'll find a lady who is striving for purity, despite her background and her origin. As we read of the "intriguing" customs of her laying at Boaz's feet in the night, we will learn that this was an action of respect and endearment, not one of impurity. Ruth wanted to show her intentions, and as a result, she learn's that of Boaz's intentions, and together they see God shine through them in their character. (Ruth 3:1-15)

How do we strive to become pure in our being so that we may see God more and more?

Guard your heart. You have probably heard that passage out of Proverbs that says "above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."  These words weren't just placed in the Bible for you to share on facebook in the pretty, curly writing over top of a sunset image. They were put there as an intentional warning that helps us seek purity in our lives. Guarding our hearts means guarding our very center of life. When we are vulnerable to the things of this world that are not helping our walks with Christ, we are slowly giving pieces of our values over, and leaving God in the dust, when in all honesty, you can't live without Him. This passage not only means to guard your heart, but heart means your mind, understanding, being, character, will, inclination, soul...

Stop listening to your "heart". I cringe every time I see people post something like "I'm listening to my heart, and it tells me to..." or "those other curly font, meme things that say "Follow Your Heart." I'm here to tell you to never, ever listen to or follow your heart. It is deceptive and based on emotions and feelings. (Jeremiah 17:9) If I let my daughter listen to her heart or how she is feeling, she'd be made up of spoiled preschooler with every sparkly unicorn, pink baby, and full of fruit snacks for every meal. If I listened to my heart most days, I wouldn't have any friends and I would be working from my couch. The heart and emotions are real, but stupid. They know nothing. They react on impulse and no common sense. Just don't.

Watch your "input" - it equals your "output". Hanging with people who swear all the time will probably get you swearing a lot. Watching movies that are suggestive will probably desensitize you to what is unacceptable in God's eyes and make it more socially acceptable in your eyes. Not reading your Bible each day will not provide you the reminder of hope and empowerment for the day that comes from God, but it will cause you to lean on other things. How can you share the hope of Christ is you neglect to put it in your own soul? Strive for pure things to put pure out.

Leave room for Jesus. We used to tell kids at camp who got a little too close to "leave room for Jesus". Not only is this applicable teens in their public displays of affections, but for marriages and life in general. Marriages will only thrive when they have Christ at the center. Hope in the midst of struggles is only found in relying on God. You can find excitement in the mundane because you can see God working even in the woes of Monday, because the pure in heart will see God. Remember to have God in every aspect of your life.

Purity is acquired in time, and God will grace us that purity, but we also need to do our part in allowing Him to do so. Start watching your thoughts towards others. Take a knee in humility in order to gain understanding. Strive to seek Him in every area.

Scripture to Read:
Ruth 3:1-15, Proverbs 4:23

Questions to Ponder:
What does "purity" mean to you?
How can you strive for purity in your wholeness this week?
What do you need to to do make sure you are filled with Christ and not just emotions of the heart?

Fill the Gap - Hopelessly Devoted

I just love seeing my youth group girls dance in their shows twice a year. You can see the dedication, the passion, the work they have put in all year to nail their twirls and forms. Without taking the time to practice or to really focus on what needs to be done, refining one's skill or passion is impossible. As with any sport, hobby, craft, you have to devote time to honing in on God so that you can become more and more in tune with Him, living life in His ways, and knowing the differences between His voice and that of the world.

To become devoted to something, it takes time and honesty. You have to address the habits that hold you back. You have to strive to discipline yourself to practice daily. In Deuteronomy 6:5, we are told to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." In Matthew 22:37 we are told similarly to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." It is easy to be so devoted to something that is in front of you, or that you will find rewards of this world in, but not so easy when you can't always feel God in front of you and know that that reward is far greater than any other you can get on earth.

Why is it important to become devoted to God? In a world that carries many different views from many different people, with many different opinions, we hear all sorts of "commentaries" on Who God is. Keeping in mind that God is the only One Who can tell us Who He truly is, it takes a relationship with Him - one that is more than attending church on Sunday mornings, or only on Easter and Christmas. To truly build relationship with someone, you spend time with them. To truly know the ins and outs of something, you get all up in it. Being devoted to God makes Him personal to you, no matter what someone else's portrayal is of Him.

Ruth's view of God was probably interesting, as she was from Moab, which didn't worship God. Her mother in law was bitter towards God. And her sister in law had gone back to worship her god. The only way Ruth could have learned Who God is, was to do what was right and getting to know Him up close and personal. Obviously Ruth had seen God in a real way and wanted to embrace Him as she did what she needed to in order to provide for her mother in law. Don't ever let humans crush your relationship with God - He is bigger than that. Don't ever let a circumstance crush your relationship with God - He is bigger than that. Don't ever walk through this life without Him - because you will fall, and you will need Him, whether you believe it or not.

So how do we devote ourselves to God? How do we fill the gap within us that we try to fill with merits of this world that only leave us wanting more? We strive to love Him, just as those above verses tell us to.

With all your heart. The heart is a symbol all throughout the Bible that represents the "center". The hub in which your life runs and desires are tick. Is He the center of everything you do? If you're married, dating, in love, make sure He is right there in the middle of it.

With all your soul. The Greek word for soul is "breath". The breath of life. We breathe in God's goodness and breathe out praises. I love the song "Great Are You Lord", as it says "It's Your breath in our lungs, so we pour out our praise, we pour out our praise..." That says it all. We wouldn't even be breathing and walking around this world without His hand.

With all your strength. With a force or great degree. Not that we force our beliefs on people, but we pursue God with everything and every ounce of energy we can muster.

With all your mind or might. Your understanding. Your way of thinking. Proverbs 3:5 tells us to "trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." When you truly know God and have seen Him work, you will know that His ways are nothing like the plans in your head or the way you see this world. They will blow your mind.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, "for I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper and not harm you, plans for a future and hope." Sounds good, doesn't it? The problem is we usually stop here, thinking we'll be handed this promise, and we fail to read the very next verses that tell us that we need to give a little too. Jeremiah 11:12-14 continues with, "then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,' declares the Lord..." 

Do your part in seeking Him. Don't wait for Him to just hand it to you. Show you are devoted and you want to be devoted. Work for what is going to matter the most at the end of this life. Don't dare take another step without Him.

Scripture to Read:
Ruth 2:12, Deuteronomy 6:5

Questions to Ponder:
How does Boaz's words speak highly of Ruth's devotion to God?
How can you personally find habits to get more devoted to God?
What happens in your life when you become devoted more and more to God than on the the opinions of the world?

Fill the Gap - Character Challenge

I love caller ID. Seriously, you can't even believe how much I love it. As an introverted, insecure, unsure, plan ahead for any possible scenario, fearful person, answering the phone is something I hate doing. It's a BIG part of my job, so I do it and I find out it wasn't so bad each time, but since I got caller ID, I no longer have to deal with telemarketers. (Except those ones that trick you by calling from a local number when they're really in Tahiti...but another frustration for another day.) The thing is, I can take the easy way out with caller ID with telemarketers. I don't have to worry about them recording my voice when it accidentally says "yes" or something along those lines, and have them use it against me when the "yes" had absolutely nothing to do with the thing they were selling anyways. It's cruel, I know...so I love letting my voicemail answer them.

Taking the easy way out is usually an option. Sometimes, we're forced into corners where this really is no easy way, and I truly believe those are the moments the rubber meets the road in terms of faith. But I also believe when we see something through and do it the right way, we refine and reveal our character greatly.  Another thing I worry about a lot is how I look to people. I have always lived to please man, which is an unhealthy place to be. By pleasing people, I'm too busy trying to stay out of conflict to realize I'm not honoring God, the One I should be pleasing.

When we are in the midst of rock bottom, of singleness, of unknowns, we tend to either keep fighting or give up. We embrace hope, bitterness or both. Ruth, having hope, went out to provide for her mother in law in the fields. Naomi flat out told her old friends that she was bitter. Ironically, Ruth's fighting to find hope is what attracted Boaz to her. (Ruth 2:8-12) "I have heard all the things you have done for your mother in law." Boaz's words to Ruth's question, "why have I found favor with you?"

Character is gained when we fight through the struggle. Character is gained when we can humbly take a knee and allow God to carry us through. Character is gained when we allow the irritating grains of life to turn us into perfect pearls. As I review James 1:2-4, we remember that this is how faith is gained. "because the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

If we really dig into this passage, we see that trials, hardships, unknowns are what give us character. They give us faith. They give us perseverance. They make us mature. With these things, we can take on the next trial, and the next trial, and the next, knowing we can grow even more.

Before you try to fill the gap in your heart with trying to impress people when what you have, with your words, with your body, fill the gap of your heart with Jesus. Nothing screams character more than a person who has an all out pursuit of faith in Him. It may not make you a popular person in this world, it may not win you awards, or even pay the bills, but it will matter as you lead a legacy in your family. Change the hardship story to a story of hope. Cling to Him and build something that may require a risk, or time, or patience. In Him, find peace, find worth, find something greater than your circumstance, and allow Him to build a character in you that can inspire others to find character in Him one day. 

Scripture to Read:
Ruth 2:8-12, Galatians 1:10, James 1:2-4

Questions to Ponder:

What does character mean to you?
How do you build character, especially in Christ?
Hoe does trying to please man over pleasing God hinder a building of character? 

Fill the Gap - Have a Little Faith

The chaos in the hallway with hustling and bustling scrubs and intercom attention flowed through the door as it was left partially ajar from the 5am nurse visit. Another day on the seventh floor of the heart wing had become another day away from my baby girl, and the snuggles we were supposed to be sharing at home. I hit lows a lot as I was trapped on that 7th floor, with nothing but a hallway to walk around and a window to gawk out, as a long, brutal winter became a much anticipated spring. Moving around was still a monitored process as I had just escaped the ICU and the feelings of residual chest tube wounds, along with sawed sternum rang loudly as I would even shift the smallest amount. Holding my baby was a challenge the small amounts of time she was brought from Ludington, 2 hours away, and I felt as if I was missing her entire 1st month of life. I felt jipped. I felt enormous amounts of "why"? I felt as if the precious moments of the one shot I had at motherhood  was slipping out of my fingers, and nothing I could do would make it come back. But I had to learn to have faith in those moments, and that is precisely one of the things God was teaching me.

I think controlling our own fate is something we all do as humans in one way or another. We find life not to be fair, yet we don't see the path ahead, or the bigger picture of what God is trying to prepare us for, prevent us from, and teach us in those awful, frustrating times in life. If I had it my way in that time, I would have made mothering a newborn as a more positive experience. It wouldn't have involved colic, the open-chest surgery, and the not even able to pick up my baby for 8 weeks after my surgery. But God's plan was different. And as I reflect back, I still don't always see the bigger picture or reasons, but I know I'm a different person today because of that season.

We read that Ruth "happened to" be gleaning in the field that belonged to Boaz. And not only this, but she happened to be there when Boaz was there, which was probably not often as Boaz was a rich man, who probably owned many fields and had many workers. Luck? Coincidence? Absolutely not. Ruth's faith and promptings from God had led her to Bethlehem, a place where as a Moabite, she would probably face much ridicule and no future, and by God's prompting, she gleaned the fields of the man she would one day marry. Ruth's newly acquired faith in the One true God got her off the couch, out of the house, out of her state of moping, and into the field where her future would begin once more. 

Proverbs 16:9 tells us this was God's hand, as it reads, "In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." And in Ruth's case, we find out that she indeed becomes the lineage of Jesus - a far grander plan that finding a husband and future in another land with hopeless outlook for her origin. 

God took care of Ruth and Naomi is so many ways. In fact, Ruth gleaning the fields tells us that her and Naomi were probably desperate for some food, and Ruth, taking care of her mother in law went out to do what she had to do in taking a risk. Eventually, becoming favored in Boaz's eyes would not only take care of Ruth and Naomi in his wealth as family, but it would take care of us all in leading to the birth of our Savior down the family line one day. God's plan is perfect, and in the midst of the hopeless circumstances of life, He has so much more beyond those frustrating moments that you can't even comprehend.

Nothing could have prepared me for that circumstance, yet looking back I realize more and more God had been preparing me all along, and even in that moment, He was preparing me for more of life's curve balls to come. 21 days in the hospital, and months of recovery at home were actually some of the best ways God could have taught me to look up and know His plan is more powerful. I can't even tell you how close I felt to God in that "rock bottom" moment, and I often long for that type closeness again, as I strive to figure it all out. I remember that having faith in the impossible moments create possibilities. May we all strive to see this when rock bottoms come. 

Scripture to Read:

Ruth 2:1-9, Matthew 1:1-17

Questions to Ponder:

Have you ever felt at the "rock bottom" of life? Why?

How did God show you a grander plan, if He has revealed it to you yet? If not, ask yourself how could "rock bottom" be a grander plan?

How do we have faith to move along despite our circumstances? What can you remember from Ruth's story to help you?

Fill the Gap - Stop Waiting, Start Serving

I keep wanting to write a book. I have no idea what it would be about or what it would entail, but I know I want to...someday. I keep wanting to travel more. The list I have to visit is long, and expensive, but I know I want to go see places in this world that are beautiful. I hear this theme over and over again from people. They want to have kids but they want the right career first. They want to travel, but they want a spouse first. They want to serve in the church, but they want to find time first. Let me be the first person (or the 100th) to say that waiting isn't the answer. Life passes quickly, and if you don't follow through with God's prodding when it comes, you might miss it. We have a God of second chances, but not necessarily a God of second opportunities.

Ruth, having moved to Judah with her mother in law heeded an opportunity and stepped out in risk to see what kind of life God may have for her now, knowing full well that a husband may not be in that picture. But she chose a land where God was worshiped, not another god. We read a parable by Jesus in Matthew 25 about 3 servants who are given their master's wealth to keep safe while he is away. The first servant gets 5 bags of gold to be entrusted with and returns to his master 5 more bags when he returns. The second servant gets 2 bags of gold and returns 2 more for his master. And the final servant is entrusted with 1 bag and returns the same bag, gaining no more to his master. The master is infuriated with this servant, saying he did nothing to further his wealth. Jesus uses this parable to challenge us to use what we have to further His kingdom.

We can sit on our hands and wait for "the right moment" or we can get up now and go. We have all been given an ability, words, gifts, desires, goals for a reason. God wants us to stop waiting around for us to have more money, find Mr. or Mrs. Right, land the right career, find the time, and just jump. Consider the valuable bags of gold you have been given, whether in something as simple as a smile and warm welcoming spirit, to words just longing to seep out onto a page in a book. Now is the time. Sign up to volunteer. Write the book. Go on the trip.

We build our character best in Christ when we are actively participating in His work. In order to fill the gaps in your life and know what He is calling you to do, well...you have to do something. I used to fear doing things. I want to believe that this is why I never went away to college, but stuck around locally. It worked out and ultimately, God's plan happened here, but I often wonder what that life would have been like. I feared a new place. I feared people. I still fear people sometimes. I got to a point though, where I found myself at home in serving our students - Jr. and Sr. High ladies specifically. I found a love for playing guitar and joined the praise team - talk about a step for me! I tapped into my love of traveling and joined a mission team to the Dominican Republic and since have been tied there with connections and more trips. I was able to find my place in God's plan and find where I belonged, whether or not I had a man next to me. Eventually, obviously, the man came along, but not because I was pining alone in my bedroom for him. I made a life for Jesus first, allowing Him to show me the gifts He put in me and use them to find my place for His glory. If the man never would have come, nothing would have changed in my heart in terms of serving the Lord, but now I serve alongside my guy and we challenge each other to tap into those gifts.

Start living. Stop waiting. Find what you can do NOW to be an active participant in God's plan, desiring first to expand His kingdom before trying to fill the voids of your heart. A quote I love  by Reggie Joiner is the following:

"Don't wait until you feel like it to do something. Do something in order to feel like it."

Serving God will give you a whole new, enriched energy and sense of belonging in this world with purpose. A purpose that far exceeds anything we can cook up for ourselves! Ruth went after it. And we will get to see more of her story as we plug away at this series more. God blessed her for her faithfulness in mighty ways, and He wants to use you to do awesome things for His glory too! Just get over the gaps you feel and fill them with His plans for you.

Scripture to Read:
Ruth 2:1-3, Matthew 25:14-30

Questions to Ponder:
How did Ruth take a risk and serve God by taking care of her mother in law?
What are some things God has put on your heart to do? How do you know they are His desires?
What are you going to do in order to serve God and furthering His kingdom rather than waiting for "the right time"?

Fill the Gap

I recently saw this post by TobyMac. We can post these words all day ourselves because they sound good, but the fact of the matter is there is life-changing truth in these words if we fully embrace them and strive to apply them. As a woman who used to be a teenage and college-aged girl, I couldn't embrace or understand this for the longest time, and would wish for a man to come into my life to fill the gap, fully convinced I was sold out for God. The scary thing is that in the midst of my personal pining, I realized I wasn't even close to allowing God to have the reins of my life, especially in that area. One day, it clicked though for me. I remember wrapping up the study "Lady in Waiting" with some of my high school ladies and thinking about how I would be okay with or without a guy in my life. I'm not saying this is the "magic formula" but not much later my husband entered my life, and I didn't even think we were dating, but hanging out! That is how much I had clicked that switch off, and had found so much joy and peace, and satisfaction in Jesus. No one else entering my life could cause that kind of joy.  

But after a summer of fishing, baseball games, and just late-night faith talks, I knew this guy was the one. He was attracted to my faith, and I was so blown away by how much he challenged me to dive into God, not into him. That's what made it clear for me. He didn't provide the joy Jesus gave me, but he complimented it. He didn't "complete me", but he complimented my relationship with Jesus.

You see, we try to fit so many different people into a role that only God can fill. We are unfair to our friends, siblings, significant others, parents, loved ones, etc, because we expect them to fix the problems and the gaps that only God can fill and fix. We expect people to bring us a joy and a peace that only comes from God. So for the rest of February, I would like to take some time to consider what it looks like to allow God to fill the gap you think only a human can fill. Or the ones that you may be already trying to fill with a human.

I want to challenge you to give it all to God. This sounds like your basic, Sunday sermon here, but truly, right now, write down the things in your life that are frustrating to you at the moment. The things you can't let go of. Maybe it's finances. Maybe it's a career path you want to be on. Maybe it's finding a spouse. Whatever it is, let's find ways to let it go. Let's consider the things God can give us that those things or those people can't.

Consider Ruth for a moment with me. We read right off the bat that her, her mother in law, and her sister in law had all lost their husbands in a land and people frowned upon by God's people, Moab. Naomi's son's had married Moabite women, Orpah and Ruth, and as Naomi decides to return to Judah, to make amends with God in her homeland, she urges Ruth and Orpah to stay in Moab, as she has nothing else to offer them, and knows full well that Moabite women would have much difficulty creating a new life for themselves in Judah. Orpah goes home, but Ruth insists on going with her mother in law, risking her future at getting another husband, living in a new land that didn't accept her people, and serving a Good that wasn't that of her people. Ruth chose to take a risk. What do you need to let go of in order to allow God to come in and fill the gaps?

Another powerful example from the Bible is when the woman came, broke her alabaster jar for Jesus, and anointed His feet with the perfume. This box represented her future, for they were meant to be broken at the feet of a fiance/future husband, as well as her wealth, as it cost much money of the woman's family to give this as her dowry. This woman gave it up for Jesus, showing that He was her Hope and future.

So the question that remains as we look ahead to this series, is are you willing to sacrifice your plans to God, allowing Him to guide you where He would like you to go, despite where you would like to go? As we move along the next week or so we'll consider how we fill the gap of our hearts with Christ, and how we do that, based on Ruth's story.

Scripture to Read:
Ruth 1, Luke 7:36-50

Questions to Ponder:
What is something you want so badly?
How can you come to a place of knowing that only God can truly satisfy you?
What does it look like in your life for you to abandon everything you have/want to God? (Whether than means that you can't place expectations on your loved ones that only He can fill, etc.)

Agape Love - Never Fails

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

- 1 Corinthians 13

We have spent February so far looking at attributes of agape love. Many of the characteristics we talked about may seem daunting and hard for you, and that's ok, because the final piece in those descriptions of agape is that is never fails. No matter how many times we fall, fail, or flounder, we will always have God's loving arms to run back to. He will never give up on us and will always love us, even if we don't love Him back. The definition of agape love is that. It is unconditional. This is a type of love that can only come from something bigger than us, and the greatest example by far is a God Who sacrificed for us. What other God is there who has done such things?

So as we wrap up this little series on Agape, let's consider one more time the words in 1 Corinthians 13 as a whole, because if one thing is clear, it's that without love, unconditional love, you get no where. You can possess all of the power and faith in the world, but still hit a wall without love.

We misuse the word "love" and give it a definition that doesn't fit. We have turned the word "love" into meaning to "accept", "affirm", or "approval", when that is not love at all. Agape love doesn't love because of what you do, but it loves because of of who God is. It loves because of the will it has to love, without strings attached. We fall off the wagon over and over and God still loves us, even if He doesn't agree with what we are doing. This world has made about earning and affirming.

The other day, my currently, kid-scissor-happy daughter cut a hole in our couch. I wasn't home, and I heard about it through a text. I can't lie, there was a moment I was utterly infuriated, but there wasn't a second I considered that I would ever stop loving her. I don't accept what she did. I don't affirm what she did. I don't approve of what she did. But I still love her. So why do we run around in this world thinking if we don't "accept", "affirm" or "approve" of one's behavior as an adult, that we don't love them? Or that we shouldn't love them? We've all cut a hole in the couch, so to speak, yet people still love us.

So if love is not affirming, or accepting, or approving, then what is it? It's 1 Corinthians 13. And if we are to actually grab onto this scripture like we truly mean it and we truly want to live it, then what? We read that without love, we have absolutely nothing. Without love we don't make a difference at all. Without love, we are simply annoying. And I hate to say it, but I know Christians like this. So why are we so afraid to love?

Why do we stand outside of the places we disagree with, or around the people we disagree with, making a statement, when we could be in relationships with those people we don't agree with or who have done something we don't agree with? What makes the bigger impact here? Picketing, marching, t-shirt wearing, and tract flailing, or taking time to understand a person and love on them despite the shame, despite the things we disapprove of in their lives, despite what other people say? Isn't this what Jesus did? Could you imagine if God's love was approval, acceptance, and affirming behaviors we do? None of us would be in His love. Why are we so afraid?

Love never fails. Not only in the sense that it never gives up, but in the sense that it is a solid "strategy". Without it, we are exclusive and we aren't difference-makers. Agape never fails. Unconditional, Christ-like love never fails.

Scripture to Read:
John 13:34-35, 1 Corinthians 13

Questions to Ponder:
How did Jesus love people who weren't "accepted" by society? How does Jesus love people who aren't always "accepted" by Christians? Name some examples. How does this speak to you?
What is a group of people that you don't agree with at all? How can you show love to someone you don't agree with? What difference does love and a relationship make?
Does your logic of love match up God's logic of love for all people? What needs to change in your logic?

Agape Love - He'll Never Stop Loving

There are days I feel like people will or want to give up on me. The swings of depression that I get are not only frustrating for the people around me, but they are a giant elephant in the room that no one knows what to do with it or approach it. The scary thing is I don't really know either. I just have to wait it out and let it slide by until I come out of it and wonder when the next dip will come. I continually think about how people could possibly continue to deal with me when I'm in those moments, but they keep loving me for who I am, despite the low times. And I know that God is always there, loving me through too. His love is perfect, and that is why agape also perseveres.

There is a song that goes "Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me...and on, and on, and on, and on it goes..." It is ironic because this song seems to repeat over and over, much like that songs that never ends. But that is exactly how God's love is for us. It goes on and on and on and on. It never gives up. Love endures all things, and God's love endures forever. (Psalm 136)

James 1:2-4 says "Consider it pure joy, brothers and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." 

What this tells us is that persevering through any trial, even those in love, will not be in vain. Persevering is to remain, to not run. It isn't easy to make it through hard patches. Consider some things to remember when those times come:

- Lean on God. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us to not trust our own understanding, but to lean into Him and everything will become clear. When we try to make sense of things, nothing makes sense. When we use our own earthly perspective to unravel the knots of the mess we are in, we lose perspective. When we consider bailing from our hardships, whether in life or in relationships, we are bailing on what God is calling us to do. If we can just remember that God's got it and simply follow His leading, we can handle the hardships with a little more hope.

-Let go of your plans. We all know that life never goes as planned, so why do we try to live like it will? We need to remember to allow our time, resources, etc. to be flexible. We can never see a crisis coming, but we can try to roll with what we can in not grasping too tightly to things, including the things we treasure most. The only thing this world can't take is your faith if you truly have Christ in your life. Cling to that like your life depends on it. 

- Those hardships won't last forever. They will feel like they are going to last forever or that they are, but we can hold onto the hope that this world isn't the end all. (Remember our conversation about hope yesterday?) We can look forward to a reward for our suffering. (1 Peter 2:18-20)

On the flip side of persevering in love, we need to remember to give all we have to Christ. There may be days we just don't want to serve anymore or carry on with our faith anymore because it feels like a lot, but we need to remember His love is light. It doesn't mean life is light, but He will carry you. A poem by Jill Briscoe inspires me as we consider carrying on in our faith without ever stopping. Half of "All the Way Home" below:

"Saw a cross alone, discarded
Lain at rest against a wall,
Who'd lain down such a holy symbol?
Who'd abandoned life's 'faith call'?

Then a voice so dear - familiar,
Asked a question - pierced me through,
Who is it that you're expecting
Carrying it home for you?

How could I lay down that crossbeam?
How to think that no one saw?
Who did I expect to lift it 
Carry it to heaven's door?

'Jesus, Jesus, please forgive me,
Carried Thou your cross for me,
All the way to hell to save us,
Help me carry mine for Thee!'

I'm no hero - special woman
Just a lady, old and gray,
But my cross, Lord, I will carry,
Home, Lord, home, Lord - All the way!"

Love endures through all things. No matter how hard something gets, persevere on. Nothing shows love to a hurting person more than sticking around through the hard times, shameful times, and less than wonderful times.

Scripture to Read:
James 1:2-4, Proverbs 3:5-6

Questions to Ponder:
Have you ever wanted to quit at loving someone, or carrying on with a hardship?
How can you rely on God in times that are hard?
How does knowing God's got it and has a grander plan beyond what we can ever see help you in getting through the struggles?

Agape Love - Always Hopes

My husband and I are football people. We love to get home from church, plop on the couch together and turn on whatever game we can get on our 3 stations. We challenge each other in fantasy football, along with other friends and family members. One hangup in our marriage, however, is that he is a Green Bay Packers fan...and I'm a Chicago Bears Fan. We live in Michigan (so we needed good teams to route for...) One thing that I've always thought was interesting was that even if my husband's team is behind in the fourth quarter, he still watches, and hopes, and says "they could still pull it out." While I usually taunt him and roll my eyes, it is something I've always admired and considered as evidence of his loyalty to his team. I think the same goes for agape love.

One thing I have come to learn over the past few years is that nothing can rob me of the hope I have in what will matter most in 100 years. Circumstances can really drain. Don't get me wrong - I am one of the worst worriers I know. I worry about tomorrow way more than I should, but when push comes to shove, I know that I could literally lose everything I have on this earth, and it won't change what I will have when I'm no longer on this earth. There is something much greater, more eternal, and more dependable than anything this world has to offer...because of love. Love gave me this hope. Love created the way for me to throw away the worries and know I'm secure for eternity.

Love always hopes, because we can't help but hope for a positive outcome for those we love. What if we started hoping for a positive outcome for all that we encountered though? Even the people we may not know, or those we may not even like? Not only would our hope change the way we think about people, it may even change our hearts towards people. Hope has the ability to leave a legacy.

We read countless accounts in scripture where people hoped. They hoped for a child. They hoped for a promised land. They hoped for a Messiah. We also read that in one way or another, God showed up. He always shows up, either filling our hopes, or making an impact even deeper than our hopes. The legacies left and the love that prevailed because of hope carries with us even to this day.

Gideon was no exception. He was hiding in the bottom of a wine press when God sound him and told him that he would be sent to save Israel from the Midianites. Gideon argues, claiming his clan is the weakest. In fact, Gideon is so unconvinced that he tells God to convince him, more than once. And when Gideon if finally on board, God takes the tiniest army surrounding Gideon of 300 and defeats a Midianite camp with 135,000! (Judges 6-7) There is hope if you feel weak. There is hope if you feel defeated. There is hope when you feel at a dead end. God will provide a way. Just have hope.

No matter how dark and unknown life gets, the position of hope will not only carry you through those situations, but it will leave a lasting ripple in your heart and for others who are in similar dark, unknown hallways of life. Your hopeful attitude is one that could change someone's mind, someone's heart, someone's view of faith. God can shine through you if you allow Him. Give Him the credit for your the hope you have in all times and in all circumstances. That is a type of love that has incredible value for now and eternity.

Scripture to Read:
Judges 6-7, 1 Corinthians 13:13

Questions to Ponder:
Why do faith, hope and love go together? Why is love the greatest?
When has been a time you felt completely hopeless? What has that shown you about getting through the next hard time?
How does hope look beyond a circumstance?

Agape Love - On Rock Climbing, Gas, & Trust

Rock Climbing was something I just loved to do. There is something about it that causes a rush as you have to rely on equipment, your body, and the person at the bottom holding the other end of the rope. In fact, I loved it so much, I worked ropes courses at the camp I worked at for 3 summers in a row, and was part of a "climbing club" that would go as far as 40 miles just to climb each week. I learned a lot about trust in those times, and taught a lot about trust in those times. I have learned that trust comes in all shapes and sizes and any possible area of life. Today, we'll consider trust in love and how it applies to that of agape.

We read in Exodus 18 that Moses had an issue with being over burdened by the people he led once they reached the wilderness. We read how his father in law, Jethro advises Moses to delegate others to take the burdens of disputes and duties that Moses is handling himself, as Jethro sees how unhealthy this is. Moses fortunately takes his father in law's advice and appoints "capable men, who fear God and are trustworthy." Without trust, Moses wouldn't have been able to raise up a team to help him. We do need to consider some things, however, as we hand out our trust to people. Moses didn't just hand out the duties to anyone. He trained them with the values of the decrees and instructions on how to live and behave per God's instruction, so that they could discern disputes and handle conflicts that arose. We need to have similar judgement when allowing people our trust.

I have a hard time letting go of things that are on my task list. I like to do things myself because I know it will be done the "right" way. If I do it myself I know it gets done. If I handle it myself, I know the outcome. If I handle it myself, I feel valued. But this isn't showing that I trust anyone. I don't allow anyone else to take the reins now and then and show they are capable and gifted. For this reason, I don't practice and strive for the characteristic of trust in agape love.

There is something to be said of a relationship that can find love from trust though. If you are in a relationship, friendship, small group that can say anything because they have earned your trust and you have earned theirs, it is powerful indeed. You can say things and hear things and know it is out of love, not for hurting, and that is gold. This takes time, and this is a weird balance at first. Marriage takes time and work, and trust is highly required. You can't stumble around a marriage too long without sharing truths about your spouse with them, or the whole thing is frustrating.

I chuckle a little because I think of when my husband and I first started dating. There is that awkward first few weeks, months, maybe days for some people where you just can't fart in front of them. It's painful, but something is holding you back from just letting it out. (Just me?) When you finally get comfortable enough to just do it, it breaks so much tension. But there is some sort of trust that comes with it. You know that you can be "gross" in front of them and they won't think you're gross or run because they think you are. Someone will "fart" in front of the other at some point in a marriage. Is there enough trust there to just be honest? Nothing spells great love than someone who can see you at your best and your worst. Talk about trust!

The translation of the word "trust" in this trait of agape means to "think to be true, to believe all things, to be persuaded of, to credit, to place confidence in". I love this definition because it insinuates that trust isn't just handed over. It takes credibility and proof. God doesn't want us to be dumb with our trust, but He wants us to give people the benefit of the doubt, especially when they have proven to us before they are worth our trust. People need to give a little to gain from someone. If the relationship is one-sided, it probably isn't a good relationship to be in. I also love the translation that uses "believes all things" rather than trusts. It's the same thing, but in so many words. Can you believe the best in people?

This concept can be taken a little more lightly for every face you come across though. When we interact with people day in and day out, no matter how well we know them, we can strive to see the best in them, and not peg them as a negative description right away. At the 2019 Women's IF:Gathering, Angie Smith shared to try and think toward every person you see, "I love you." Before anything else, say those words in your head about them. You don't have to hand over full trust to someone right off the bat - again, dumb. But try not to see them with a shadow of the doubt, but rather with the benefit of the doubt. They can choose to prove you wrong or right, but believe in them before dismissing them.

"When we look for what's best in the person we happen to be with at the moment, we're doing what God does, so in appreciating our neighbor, we're participating in something truly sacred." -Mr. Fred Rogers

How can you believe the best in people today? I know many will crush your spirits, and disappoint you, but how can you strive to see the good in someone? Can you hand a task over to someone who has shown you that you can trust them? Consider this topic today.

Scripture to Read:
Exodus 18, Proverbs 3:5-6

Questions to Ponder:
How does someone prove themselves to you in terms of earning your trust?
Who can we put our trust in at all times, even when people may fail us?
Why does it take trust to delegate a team or relationships around you?

Agape Love - Protects

When I became a mother, something changed. Not only the fact that I had a colicky, screaming baby in the house, but the fact that my instincts became more...is "fierce" a strong enough word? I gained a mama-bear drive that hasn't yet left to this day, as we look ahead to her turning five. I hear that never goes away and that one day when she's a teenager, it will drive her crazy. But the day she came home and told me a kid wasn't nice to her at school stirred up all sorts of emotions for me. Mama-bear wanted to go give that kid a piece of my mind, but mama-bear also just wanted to hold my daughter and let her know the kids who aren't nice to her shouldn't matter in her life. How do we embrace this agape trait of protection?

Protect others. We can agape people by protecting them when they can be/should be protected. There is a lot to be said when someone says "I've got your back." It shows innumerable amounts of love to that person. Not only does the person feel like they have a place to belong, but they also have people to do life with. How do we protect people? Consider a few things:

By taking your own blame. When you are in question, and you know you've screwed up, don't throw anyone under the bus, but yourself. Nothing says I devalue you more than blaming someone that was not at fault for your mistake.

By standing up for them. This not only goes for the injustices of the world, like human trafficking and slavery, but this is important in our everyday exchanges. If someone is gossiping about someone, stick up for the person they are gossiping about. I'm sure if there was dirt going around about you, you would want the same dousing going on for the rumors flying around. Even if you know the rumors are true, they are not warranted without the person there.

By providing to the ones you committed to. If you are wearing a wedding ring, you better be protecting the one who gave you that ring. If you gave someone a wedding ring, you better be protecting the one you gave it to. If you brought a child into this world, you better be providing for that child in every aspect they need provision for, even in faith.

By respecting them. The word "respect" is one that gets thrown around a lot by people today, even by people who don't show it. However, we lose sight of the fact that God loves even the ones who don't love Him, and we are called to love them too. This may look like not taken advantage of another person. They may look like seeing potential in someone even if you don't agree with what they are doing now. This may look like allowing opinions to be just opinions, not reasons to hate each other.

1 Peter 2:13-17
"Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and commend those who do right. For it is God's will that by doing good, you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God's slaves. Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor." 
By protecting their faith or potential faith.

We see the examples of when Jesus protected others, even when everyone was thinking the person was wrong. Zacchaeus, the woman caught in adultery, the woman who spilled the perfume on His feet. Jesus displayed a protection over people that was so incredible and surprising.

Respect yourself. As God's chosen masterpiece, you need to look at the potential He sees in you. Ephesians 2:10 tells us that we are HIS workmanship, created in Christ to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. If you really stop and consider yourself for a moment, you could see all the pieces God put together in you to bring about something much bigger than what is going on in your life today. If it's one thing I'm learned through the storms and waves of this life, it is those storms actually made me prepared for what was ahead. God wants you to remember how treasured you are in His eyes. The plans He has for you are great, but you need to look past the negative feelings you have for yourself today. Don't allow anyone to take advantage of you or your gifts - your God-given, delicately planned out gifts.

Agape always protects. Some versions say Love (agape) bears all things. When we really dig to the roots of what this is saying, we'll find that love covers or roofs, placing protection over. Or it covers in silence - not as an accomplice, but as a protector for one with faults. In other words, it doesn't walk around boasting about someone's short comings. How are you protecting others and yourself?

Scripture to Read:
1 Peter 2:13-17, Ephesians 2:10

Questions to Ponder:
What is one of the traits of respecting others you would like to work on?
Why should be respect others? How is this a way of "protecting"?
How do you need to protect yourself? Why is it important to do so?

Agape Love - True That

Do you ever wish people would just "say it"? I can't tell you how often it happens among Christians that we don't want to hurt feelings or cause conflict, so rather than going to someone who can actually fix the problem, we complain to people who have absolutely no power to do anything about it, or won't. This could be anything from someone who had surgery/health issues that the church didn't know about, or something was broken or not working correctly for months and no one said anything to anyone who could possibly fix it. It's a frustrating cycle. Because the longer we let it sulk, the more aggressive it comes out when someone finally does say something, and the ironic thing is that a lot of people know before anyone who it mattered to most or the people who needed to know, leaving the people who needed to know in a place of looking horrible to all of those people. Even when we think we're doing someone a favor in not telling them, we're actually hurting them through either keeping it from them, or assuming they already know, and making them look bad, and that is exactly why we need to rejoice in truth!

Jesus had to speak hard truths all the time. He didn't hold back, but He only spoke in love, never to hurt. We can see the rich young ruler as an example in Mark 10. He came to Jesus, asking what else he needed to do to enter the kingdom of heaven, and Jesus shot him straight. "Sell your possessions to the poor." While this was a harsh truth for the man, after all he knew all the commandments and was very savvy in scripture, Jesus told him exactly where his heart was, and even though it seemed to hurt the man, he had some hard truths to weigh out. If Jesus didn't care about him, and simply wanted to spare the man's feelings, I'm sure He would have said, "great! You know the commandments and your scripture, so great job!" and left it there, knowing that the man wasn't quite there still. But the man wouldn't have known it.

It's a lot like when you've been wandering around with lunch stuck in your teeth all day, and no one tells you it's there, until someone in the store, right before dinner points it out for you. You have to stop and think "why didn't all of those people I know well not say a thing?!" You feel dumb and even a little angry. Why don't we tell people though? Because it's awkward? Because we don't want them to feel dumb?

If you want to grow, you need to receive harsh truths sometimes. One thing my boss (also my pastor) says to me all the time, as a girl with sensitivity issues, is to ask "what if it is true?" If it is, what can I do about it, and if it's not so much true, I move on without feeling too shaken up about it. But I have to stop and assess myself based on that possible truth from that person. Why are they feeling that way? Is it something I need to change or is it something they are just venting? Prime your heart to hear hard truths, but know that you need to consider where they're coming from for a moment before you get bent out of shape by them.

We are told that agape "rejoices" with truth as one of its characteristics. This seems kind of awkward, but as we discussed yesterday, that it doesn't delight in evil, we have to see the correlation between theses phrases. There are obvious differences here that tie into the initial story of this post. Delighting in evil says "did you know that so n' so doesn't care about so n' so, because nothing has been done!" and the delight comes it when it's nothing  more than juicy gossip. However, if you're talking to "so n' so" about what can we do for "so n' so" because they know people or connections or ways of helping, you're suddenly crossing into rejoicing with truth as you have made it clear to the people that need to know.

I view this much like the James 1:2-3's words about "considering it pure joy when trials come, for it is the testing of your faith, producing perseverance." No one wants to go through hard times. They frankly aren't fun. No one wants to hear hard truths, but those too will grow your faith if the truth is out of love, not spite. Let's help each other. We all have blinders and ways we need to grow. I'm not saying go slap someone with everything they do wrong or can't see in one swoop. You need passport into someone's life before you can do that, but know how to give and receive hard truths with people in your tight circles.

Scripture to Read:
Mark 10:17-22, Ephesians 4:15

Questions to Ponder:
What is a hard truth you have had to consider before? How did you react?
How do we share truth in love? Why is it important to have a relationship with a person before giving them the truth in love?
How do hard truths refine your faith?

Agape Love - Lose the Evil Laugh...

One evening, my hubby and I were heading out of town for an appointment, and the weather was less than ideal. There was heavy snow, causing slush on the freeway, but everyone seemed to be minding their "take it slow in ice and snow" advice that every Michigan road billboard scrolls in that kind of weather, until we got to Muskegon. Now, I apologize if you are from Muskegon, and I'm stereotyping your people, but every time I make a trip to Grand Rapids there are two points of the trip that have the craziest drivers. I-96 and Muskegon. This particular night proved my point well. As someone sped by us in the passing lane at more than 70mph, might I add, splashing slush all over our already hard to see out of windshield, we just shook our heads and secretly hoped they would be in the ditch in the next mile. (C'mon! You've all thought it too! Or you wish a cop was right around the corner.) While this never ever happens for us, this evening we got to experience the sweet satisfaction of someone having to eat their actions. This person did not go in a ditch, but spun out in front of us, flew across the lanes and ended up on the (thankfully) wide shoulder, facing the wrong way of the flowing traffic. She was fine, her car was fine, but she just looked epically ticked off. As we went our 35-45mph past her, we couldn't help but feel a little bit of delight as we chuckled together. (Yeah, we're horrible people.)

Agape love does not delight (rejoice, be glad) in evil (unrighteousness, injustice), as we continue to read in 1 Corinthians 13. While I know that it wasn't nice to feel glad that the girl who drove erratically near us to get what she deserved, this characteristic of agape covers all sorts of things we can take delight in that we shouldn't. From bigger, most evil things to smaller, everyday overlooks, we can take delight in so many things that we shouldn't. It can be helping a friend cheat or soaking up juicy gossip about someone who failed or fell short. It could be feeling a little bit of satisfaction when someone who hurt you gets hurt. It could be rejoicing when something goes your way when you know deep down that it is the wrong choice, or wrong by God's standards.

Isaiah 5:20 warns, "woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter."

There are many warning signs we can look out for to tell us if we're drifting into delighting in evil.

You rub it in people's faces when you're right. When you are correct in seeing a situation pan out the way you thought, or you have more knowledge than someone else, you will point it out as soon as you know.

You feel even a little satisfaction when someone else fails or gets hurt. This stems from a heart of insecurity and jealousy. Not only do you feel satisfaction in the failure, but you point it out in gossip or even to the person's face, just to let it sting harder.

We need to realize that delighting in evil comes from a place of pride and insecurity. It is a problem we have that we need to address and grow from. And in doing so, we become better in relationships in every aspect of our lives. Rather than rubbing failure and hurt and taking a bit of joy from it, we can hurt with someone and be there for them. Start by practicing some things to help you take right steps:

Humble yourself. It's amazing how powerful humility is. Humility causes you to hold your tongue. Humility helps you point out someone else's successes, rather than rub salt on their failures. Humility makes you realize that you could be that person in that position, and maybe you are, which is why you hurt everyone else too.

Don't feel like you need to tell others what you believe about a person and their lives, because you don't. The only thing you should know is that if someone hurts, they're lives are already miserable at the moment.

Take steps to seek the best interest for someone else, rather than justifying your anger or frustrations in laughing at the frustrations of others. Recall the words from Philippians 2:

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of others."

Scripture to Read:
Isaiah 5:20, Philippians 2:2-4

Questions to Ponder:
What are some examples you can think of in the Bible where someone "delighted" in evil?
What are some ways you may slip into "delighting" in evil, whether big or small?
How can you address the insecurities that lead you to those tendencies?

Agape Love - The Mental Scorecard

I could be an Olympic medalist in conflict avoidance. If a certain person has burned me before, I avoid hardcore. I flag personalities that I know will "hurt" eventually. The strong ones that will push until they get what they want, yet don't necessarily do wrong. I run from people who I know will drain me. I recall conversations that I didn't like, someone's anger or frustration towards me, or just a time that person came on really too harsh or strong. And, it's completely unfair to those people. In a sense I'm judging circumstances from the past and still applying them today and I keep the mental scorecard up to date.

Agape love keeps no record of wrong. If we were to translate this phrase from the original Greek being used, you would have "it keeps/takes no record (reckons, counts, computes, calculates) of wrongs (a bad nature). Whether it be the mental scorecard of their powerful, spirited personality that mine clashes with, or it be a time they really did hurt me, but asked for forgiveness. I have no business holding that.

What this could look like:
"Well, at least I'm not as bad of a Christian as so 'n so, who lies/gossips/drinks/skips church/whatever all the time." The truth is we are all on a level playing field when it comes to the foot of the cross. No sin is greater than another in God's eyes, and we all need grace to carry on. If we continually say, "well, at least I don't skip church like _______", we are missing agape. Love doesn't keep track. It realizes we all need grace, and none of us deserve it.

Lack of forgiveness and reconciliation. It takes both sides to accomplish this. If we want to actually imitate the same love Christ has for us, agape love, we can't just forget about the wrong done to us. BUT, if the person has genuinely said sorry, and knows they had done wrong, we need to forgive. And if you have done wrong, you need to admit that. Christ died for us to wipe away that record of wrongs we have done, however, we won't receive that reconciliation with Him until we confess that we have lived a life apart from His ways. If you are still holding a grudge on someone who has wronged you, even after they have come to make it right with you, then it's on you and you need to work on this character of agape.

Colossians 2:13-14
"When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross."

Next we might ask "what has that person done for me?" Sometimes we fail to serve someone because they haven't served us. Even if that is frustrating, it is keeping record, which isn't agape. Rather than wondering how you can get from a person, stop and ask what you can do for a person who has probably never done anything for you. You wouldn't even believe the blessing you will feel, which will probably even more so than they feel. Consider the words of 1 Peter 3:9:

"Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing."

Practice agape by looking at everyone equally. The unhealthy grudge you can get from counting up wrongs in someone will taint your walk with God more than you can imagine. Rather than focusing on the benefits for you, focus on how you can benefit others, whether it be not judging them, forgiving them, or blessing them. Stop keeping the scorecard file and start living each day as an opportunity to practice agape in this way.

Scripture to Read:
1 Peter 3:9, Colossians 2:13-14

Questions to Ponder:
Do you believe you keep a scorecard of some sort? Why or why not?
Have you ever had anyone ask your forgiveness, and you said you forgave them, but you still keep a grudge? How can you get past this?
What does it look like to repay evil with a blessing, as 1 Peter 3:9 states?

Agape Love - "No Offense. None taken"

I have been told that I am a highly sensitive person. I would get my feelings so hurt as a kid and teenager when someone said something about a "demographic" I happened to fall into (teen, student, christian, girl, etc.) And now I see carelessness all around me from either the people living with me under my roof, or people I interact with who just can't see past their own ways, or people on the news who I just wish didn't exist in this world, and I just want to throw things and call people losers. Nothing stirs me up faster than careless people. Or judgy people (yes, I know I am a judgy person. Irony, huh?) But I have also learned that I can't control what people say or do, even if it's directly about\to me. I CAN control how I react though. I can do me and find peace because I leave people's opinions far away from me. I can control not to be angry at every little thing.

Everyone seems to be finding something to be offended by nowadays. There used to be a response to the phrase "no offense", which was "none taken." It is an interesting interaction indeed and one that has seemed to stop being used. After pondering this interaction, I realized that we can choose not to take offense when someone says something that is their own opinion, whether it's distasteful or not. I'm sure there are offensive people out there whose comments aren't warranted, but we can choose who we listen to and how we respond. Anger isn't a sin. Even Jesus was angry at times. But depending on how you use your anger, it can become one. The next characteristic of agape listed in 1 Corinthians 13 is that it's not easily angered, or provoked, or offended, or stirred up. We can remember a few things when we want to be spurred on by someone else's comments or actions.

We need to decide who we will allow to affect us. Find your people and treasure their opinions over any other. I found this as GOLD in Perry Noble's book, The Most Excellent Way to Lead.

"If I'm going to receive criticism from someone, they need to meet the following requirements:
- They must love Jesus.
- They must love the church.
- They must love me." (pg. 122)

 Because of these "standards" I can choose who will provoke me and who won't. Some people don't deserve my time of day or my energy of anger because nothing will change anyways if I'm angry. If I'm going to allow anyone to "stir me up", they will be giving me words for loving reasons. We can choose. We have the power to choose. The problem of today's world is that we get provoked so easily, and we leave no time to let it mellow. The internet, social media, people are a click away. We have not time to settle ourselves before we are typing words that we can't delete or take back. They are there forever, even if you think you did delete them. They are there for future employers to look up. For your kids to see. For strangers to see. Don't allow anger to destroy you because you CAN choose to walk away. To take a breath. To accept criticism from the people who love you and do it for the right reasons.

Proverbs 19:11 offers some sound advice:
"Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense."

By trying to gain understanding of why someone says what they are saying to us, we become less about our emotions and more about theirs. While this isn't something we believe someone may deserve because of the words they just threw at us, we do our part to create peace - not only for the other person, but for you. It brings you glory to overlook an offense, as the verse says. Not only does overlooking an offense cause you to be less emotional about what has offended you, but I believe it could also be a game changer in today's world of constant offensiveness. It is the recipe that causes people to actually notice you are happier than others. That you are not wrecked by someone because you are too busy being wrecked by God.

Overlook offenses, because honestly, they aren't meant to be your problem, and they aren't. They might be a problem for the person handing them out, but that is something they need to consider between them and God. Offenders cry insecurity. Don't cry insecurity back. Instead choose to stand on the Rock that wipes those things away. Nothing will matter but your faith 100 years from now. Just shine a light by choosing your path of peace.

Scripture to Read:
James 1:19-20, Ephesians 4:26-31

Questions to Ponder:
Why is it important to slow down when we are angry?
How can we choose not to take offense when someone says something offensive?
What are some ways not reacting can actually become a light to the One you serve eventually?