Agape Love - The Mental Scorecard

I could be an Olympic medalist in conflict avoidance. If a certain person has burned me before, I avoid hardcore. I flag personalities that I know will "hurt" eventually. The strong ones that will push until they get what they want, yet don't necessarily do wrong. I run from people who I know will drain me. I recall conversations that I didn't like, someone's anger or frustration towards me, or just a time that person came on really too harsh or strong. And, it's completely unfair to those people. In a sense I'm judging circumstances from the past and still applying them today and I keep the mental scorecard up to date.

Agape love keeps no record of wrong. If we were to translate this phrase from the original Greek being used, you would have "it keeps/takes no record (reckons, counts, computes, calculates) of wrongs (a bad nature). Whether it be the mental scorecard of their powerful, spirited personality that mine clashes with, or it be a time they really did hurt me, but asked for forgiveness. I have no business holding that.

What this could look like:
"Well, at least I'm not as bad of a Christian as so 'n so, who lies/gossips/drinks/skips church/whatever all the time." The truth is we are all on a level playing field when it comes to the foot of the cross. No sin is greater than another in God's eyes, and we all need grace to carry on. If we continually say, "well, at least I don't skip church like _______", we are missing agape. Love doesn't keep track. It realizes we all need grace, and none of us deserve it.

Lack of forgiveness and reconciliation. It takes both sides to accomplish this. If we want to actually imitate the same love Christ has for us, agape love, we can't just forget about the wrong done to us. BUT, if the person has genuinely said sorry, and knows they had done wrong, we need to forgive. And if you have done wrong, you need to admit that. Christ died for us to wipe away that record of wrongs we have done, however, we won't receive that reconciliation with Him until we confess that we have lived a life apart from His ways. If you are still holding a grudge on someone who has wronged you, even after they have come to make it right with you, then it's on you and you need to work on this character of agape.

Colossians 2:13-14
"When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross."

Next we might ask "what has that person done for me?" Sometimes we fail to serve someone because they haven't served us. Even if that is frustrating, it is keeping record, which isn't agape. Rather than wondering how you can get from a person, stop and ask what you can do for a person who has probably never done anything for you. You wouldn't even believe the blessing you will feel, which will probably even more so than they feel. Consider the words of 1 Peter 3:9:

"Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing."

Practice agape by looking at everyone equally. The unhealthy grudge you can get from counting up wrongs in someone will taint your walk with God more than you can imagine. Rather than focusing on the benefits for you, focus on how you can benefit others, whether it be not judging them, forgiving them, or blessing them. Stop keeping the scorecard file and start living each day as an opportunity to practice agape in this way.

Scripture to Read:
1 Peter 3:9, Colossians 2:13-14

Questions to Ponder:
Do you believe you keep a scorecard of some sort? Why or why not?
Have you ever had anyone ask your forgiveness, and you said you forgave them, but you still keep a grudge? How can you get past this?
What does it look like to repay evil with a blessing, as 1 Peter 3:9 states?