Agape Love - True That

Do you ever wish people would just "say it"? I can't tell you how often it happens among Christians that we don't want to hurt feelings or cause conflict, so rather than going to someone who can actually fix the problem, we complain to people who have absolutely no power to do anything about it, or won't. This could be anything from someone who had surgery/health issues that the church didn't know about, or something was broken or not working correctly for months and no one said anything to anyone who could possibly fix it. It's a frustrating cycle. Because the longer we let it sulk, the more aggressive it comes out when someone finally does say something, and the ironic thing is that a lot of people know before anyone who it mattered to most or the people who needed to know, leaving the people who needed to know in a place of looking horrible to all of those people. Even when we think we're doing someone a favor in not telling them, we're actually hurting them through either keeping it from them, or assuming they already know, and making them look bad, and that is exactly why we need to rejoice in truth!

Jesus had to speak hard truths all the time. He didn't hold back, but He only spoke in love, never to hurt. We can see the rich young ruler as an example in Mark 10. He came to Jesus, asking what else he needed to do to enter the kingdom of heaven, and Jesus shot him straight. "Sell your possessions to the poor." While this was a harsh truth for the man, after all he knew all the commandments and was very savvy in scripture, Jesus told him exactly where his heart was, and even though it seemed to hurt the man, he had some hard truths to weigh out. If Jesus didn't care about him, and simply wanted to spare the man's feelings, I'm sure He would have said, "great! You know the commandments and your scripture, so great job!" and left it there, knowing that the man wasn't quite there still. But the man wouldn't have known it.

It's a lot like when you've been wandering around with lunch stuck in your teeth all day, and no one tells you it's there, until someone in the store, right before dinner points it out for you. You have to stop and think "why didn't all of those people I know well not say a thing?!" You feel dumb and even a little angry. Why don't we tell people though? Because it's awkward? Because we don't want them to feel dumb?

If you want to grow, you need to receive harsh truths sometimes. One thing my boss (also my pastor) says to me all the time, as a girl with sensitivity issues, is to ask "what if it is true?" If it is, what can I do about it, and if it's not so much true, I move on without feeling too shaken up about it. But I have to stop and assess myself based on that possible truth from that person. Why are they feeling that way? Is it something I need to change or is it something they are just venting? Prime your heart to hear hard truths, but know that you need to consider where they're coming from for a moment before you get bent out of shape by them.

We are told that agape "rejoices" with truth as one of its characteristics. This seems kind of awkward, but as we discussed yesterday, that it doesn't delight in evil, we have to see the correlation between theses phrases. There are obvious differences here that tie into the initial story of this post. Delighting in evil says "did you know that so n' so doesn't care about so n' so, because nothing has been done!" and the delight comes it when it's nothing  more than juicy gossip. However, if you're talking to "so n' so" about what can we do for "so n' so" because they know people or connections or ways of helping, you're suddenly crossing into rejoicing with truth as you have made it clear to the people that need to know.

I view this much like the James 1:2-3's words about "considering it pure joy when trials come, for it is the testing of your faith, producing perseverance." No one wants to go through hard times. They frankly aren't fun. No one wants to hear hard truths, but those too will grow your faith if the truth is out of love, not spite. Let's help each other. We all have blinders and ways we need to grow. I'm not saying go slap someone with everything they do wrong or can't see in one swoop. You need passport into someone's life before you can do that, but know how to give and receive hard truths with people in your tight circles.

Scripture to Read:
Mark 10:17-22, Ephesians 4:15

Questions to Ponder:
What is a hard truth you have had to consider before? How did you react?
How do we share truth in love? Why is it important to have a relationship with a person before giving them the truth in love?
How do hard truths refine your faith?