Agape Love - "No Offense. None taken"

I have been told that I am a highly sensitive person. I would get my feelings so hurt as a kid and teenager when someone said something about a "demographic" I happened to fall into (teen, student, christian, girl, etc.) And now I see carelessness all around me from either the people living with me under my roof, or people I interact with who just can't see past their own ways, or people on the news who I just wish didn't exist in this world, and I just want to throw things and call people losers. Nothing stirs me up faster than careless people. Or judgy people (yes, I know I am a judgy person. Irony, huh?) But I have also learned that I can't control what people say or do, even if it's directly about\to me. I CAN control how I react though. I can do me and find peace because I leave people's opinions far away from me. I can control not to be angry at every little thing.

Everyone seems to be finding something to be offended by nowadays. There used to be a response to the phrase "no offense", which was "none taken." It is an interesting interaction indeed and one that has seemed to stop being used. After pondering this interaction, I realized that we can choose not to take offense when someone says something that is their own opinion, whether it's distasteful or not. I'm sure there are offensive people out there whose comments aren't warranted, but we can choose who we listen to and how we respond. Anger isn't a sin. Even Jesus was angry at times. But depending on how you use your anger, it can become one. The next characteristic of agape listed in 1 Corinthians 13 is that it's not easily angered, or provoked, or offended, or stirred up. We can remember a few things when we want to be spurred on by someone else's comments or actions.

We need to decide who we will allow to affect us. Find your people and treasure their opinions over any other. I found this as GOLD in Perry Noble's book, The Most Excellent Way to Lead.

"If I'm going to receive criticism from someone, they need to meet the following requirements:
- They must love Jesus.
- They must love the church.
- They must love me." (pg. 122)

 Because of these "standards" I can choose who will provoke me and who won't. Some people don't deserve my time of day or my energy of anger because nothing will change anyways if I'm angry. If I'm going to allow anyone to "stir me up", they will be giving me words for loving reasons. We can choose. We have the power to choose. The problem of today's world is that we get provoked so easily, and we leave no time to let it mellow. The internet, social media, people are a click away. We have not time to settle ourselves before we are typing words that we can't delete or take back. They are there forever, even if you think you did delete them. They are there for future employers to look up. For your kids to see. For strangers to see. Don't allow anger to destroy you because you CAN choose to walk away. To take a breath. To accept criticism from the people who love you and do it for the right reasons.

Proverbs 19:11 offers some sound advice:
"Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense."

By trying to gain understanding of why someone says what they are saying to us, we become less about our emotions and more about theirs. While this isn't something we believe someone may deserve because of the words they just threw at us, we do our part to create peace - not only for the other person, but for you. It brings you glory to overlook an offense, as the verse says. Not only does overlooking an offense cause you to be less emotional about what has offended you, but I believe it could also be a game changer in today's world of constant offensiveness. It is the recipe that causes people to actually notice you are happier than others. That you are not wrecked by someone because you are too busy being wrecked by God.

Overlook offenses, because honestly, they aren't meant to be your problem, and they aren't. They might be a problem for the person handing them out, but that is something they need to consider between them and God. Offenders cry insecurity. Don't cry insecurity back. Instead choose to stand on the Rock that wipes those things away. Nothing will matter but your faith 100 years from now. Just shine a light by choosing your path of peace.

Scripture to Read:
James 1:19-20, Ephesians 4:26-31

Questions to Ponder:
Why is it important to slow down when we are angry?
How can we choose not to take offense when someone says something offensive?
What are some ways not reacting can actually become a light to the One you serve eventually?