Agape Love- How (not to be) Rude!

Whenever we have company over, I go into utter house-wife panic. It is a day of roaring, mommy tornado spinning from room to room, picking up towels, putting laundry in baskets, shoving clutter into closets, chasing dog hair with the vacuum, and screaming about the crap that is essentially the blame for all the problems in my life. I turn into this person I hardly recognize as I order unsuspecting family members to various tasks and aggressively accuse them of not doing anything anytime for any reason. We literally throw parties throughout the year just so the house gets cleaned, and so I can shame my family for their laziness and lack of caring about the junk they sit on. I become a mom-ster and a cyclone of insecurity. And honestly, the rudest things come out of my mouth in those moments of crumbs, and socks in the couch, and built up spillage on the stove. It is ridiculous.

Agape love is contrasted by rudeness. The word used in 1 Corinthians 13:5 for this characteristic of agape means "to act unseemly". Unseemly meaning inappropriate or not proper. To which I picture a 2-4 year old throwing a tantrum, and I realize that's exactly what this means. We are a tantrum-throwing people, thinking it's okay to say what we want to say because it feels good, or because we deserve to say it. Yet when it is self-serving and not thinking about how it affects the other person we're screaming at, it is not agape. Sometimes we are rude without even realizing it.

Gossip is a harsh rudeness. It talks about someone without trying to help or fix the problem. If you are talking about someone to someone who has no power to help the someone, you are gossiping. I think in the Christian world, we cross the line of "Did you hear about so n' so? We need to pray for them." While I'm all in favor for praying for someone, we really need to look at the heart of this. Are we really trying to offer them help in "prayer" or are we just spreading news to someone who will spread it to someone else? Keep your gossip in check.

Titus 3:2 sums avoiding rudeness up perfectly:

"They (believers) must not slander (gossip, rumor-spreading, making assumptions) and must avoid quarreling. Instead, they should be gentle and show true humility to everyone. Instead, they should be gentle and show true humility to everyone."

Ways we can avoid rudeness -
Remember our why. The Bible may tell us to not gossip, but we have to stop and remember that it also tells us to love one another. So when you ask yourself "why shouldn't I talk about that person", answer it with - because it hurts people. And that is not loving people. What kind of a testimony would you profess in the way you treat people? The way you treat your coworkers, your spouse, your kids, your parents, the waitress serving you, the person in the checkout lane...consider how to love them and why you shouldn't think, speak, and act rudely towards them.

Stop, listen and consider. Have you considered why the person you are acting rude towards is acting rude towards you? Perhaps they have a hard diagnosis, or their spouse is leaving them, or they don't have money to keep the electricity on. You don't know what a complete stranger is facing. Is this an excuse to act like you're 2? No, but treat them like human beings anyways, who have struggles like you. Show them a little light in the midst of their lives. Ask them if you can pray for them somehow. You wouldn't even believe the stories you would hear of their struggling world.

Humble yourself. Remember you are not the most important person in the world and it doesn't revolve around you. Just being someone isn't serving you a meal the way you would like, remember we are all in need of grace. Consider grace, mercy and humility as the greatest gifts you could hand out. People are way more important than your meal, than your time, than your preferences.

Luke 6:31 sums this entire principle up nicely -
"Do to others as you would like them to do to you." 

Scripture to Read:
Titus 3:1-3, 2 Corinthians 10:31

Questions to Ponder: 
How are some ways you can come across as rude, even if you don't think you are rude?
Why should we treat people with love, even if we don't get that in return?
How is honoring people bringing glory to God?