Defining Love - Types of Love

February in our culture is usually a mix of red hearts, glittery cards, and creepy cupids. This month can bring up all sorts of emotions, depending on who you are and how you view this Hallmark holiday. Some people eat up the roses and glitter, loving to feel the love, while others just absolutely hate the reminder of loneliness. I truly believe our world's view of love, however, is a little off of what God's view of love is. So, will you allow me to challenge you this month? Let's find ways to get around the loneliness or the glitter obsessions that hinges on people, and look to a never-changing, eternal kind of love that is far more valuable than any earthly relationship you will have.

The world has so many definitions for love today. It seems like one person has a definition of love that is completely different from the next person. It is sometimes messy, but it is also beautiful. I think we get too wrapped up in one type of love, especially if you're a girl, dreaming of prince charming and watched a lot of Disney or Hallmark movies. I don't think there are many ladies who wouldn't want a prince charming, and so many hit their heads over and over trying to find Mr. Right. But love is more than a prince charming or a perfect relationship. Even if we don't have those things, there is a love that is greater, stronger, and more permanent. There is a love that is playful. There is a love that is unconditional. Even though we can have our own definitions for what love is, the Bible gives us 4 types of love. The following are the Greek words, found in the New Testament, but examples are found throughout the whole Bible (the Old Testament was Hebrew).

Eros Love - Erotic love. A healthy form of love portrayed in Scripture to be exclusive to only a husband and wife. I think we misuse this love today, giving it away too openly and with anyone we could have feelings for. However, giving it to one person is a gift indeed. Call me old fashioned, but the comparison traps aren't a factor in this way, and the priorities are set straight. Most of the examples in scripture where "Eros" is used is talking about the boundaries of this love. 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 is one.

"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good form them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

Celebrate Eros with the one chosen for you, not just with anyone.


Storge Love - A natural drawing type of love, like a mother to her newborn. It is a type of love that takes place within a household or within a family. Lack of this love is a hardened heart. The times it is used in scripture is in the lack of it, such as in 2 Timothy 3:3, using the word "astorge", or lacking a natural affection.

"...they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy."

A lack of natural love between a mother and her newborn would be crushing indeed. It is lacking happiness, mercy, understanding, as the passage states. There is work to do in a heart that can't experience this love, but there is work to do in any of these loves that are lacking.


Philia Love - A deep love in solid friendships. This love is one that we are called to have as a fellowship with other Christians.

John 13:35
"By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."  

This type of love is full of fondness for another. Liking of another. Kindness towards another. It is a camaraderie and a team. This type of love is of most importance as it looks to the benefit of others. Philia love has the potential to draw others into that camaraderie if it is used well and right. There is an appeal to this love that makes others want it because of the way it takes care of others.


Agape Love - This is a love that only comes from abiding in Christ. Agape is rarely used outside of the Bible because it can only be described through Christ. We strive for this love because it is the love that Christ His Father and He has for us. Unconditional. Sacrificial. Philia and Agape are set apart when Jesus challenges Peter, asking if he loved Him, and though Peter replies yes, Jesus asks him the same question 2 more times. Peter didn't understand though because he pictured Philia love, not Agape love. Jesus was asking if Peter Agaped Him. (

Agape love is not shown through how we feel or what is deserved. It is through our actions, regardless if the person deserves it. John 3:16 is the greatest example of agape.

"For God so loved (agaped) the world, that He gave is only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life."

The most powerful love we can have is that of Agape. Over the next several days, I want to look at how we can start defining Agape love through 1 Corinthians 13, where agape is defined practically.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

Let's consider love this month in ways that are not of this world, but of our God.

Scripture to Read:
1 Corinthians 13, John 3:16, John 13:35

Questions to Ponder:
When you think of the word "love" what comes to mind for you?
Which one of these "loves" are you most familiar with?
How can you start to grasp Agape love?